Resurrection Sunday

It is the day to celebrate the resurrection of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! There is no other figure in history that compares to the God-Man who laid down his life and conquered the grave. I am so blessed to have this assurance, to be sealed by the Holy Spirit, part of a royal priesthood.

Yesterday, I saw the Dead Sea scrolls exhibit at the Discovery Center downtown. What a wonderful testament to the validity of the scriptures, the prophecies that Jesus fulfilled! Artifacts of daily living were also displayed, giving a picture of life at that time. I only had an hour before my ride came to pick me up, but it was worth it. Read more about the Dead Sea Scrolls here.

No one is "good enough" to get to heaven by their own merits. We have a Holy God, who cannot be in the presence of sin. Thankfully, God sent Jesus as a perfect atonement for our sin, past, present and future. Through faith, we are regenerated spiritually, having the righteousness of Jesus justify us before the Father. (Romans 5:1). Through the washing of the word, we are sanctified to live Holy and have the mind of Christ (John 17:17; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 5:26; Philipians 2:5). Through death, we are glorified and have eternal life with Jesus (Colossians 3:2-4; Romans 6:4).

This was God's plan even before the world began! (Acts 2:23; 1 Peter 1:19-20). We didn't surprise God when we sinned in the garden. God wants us to freely choose him and love him. He has revealed himself in the historically accurate texts of the Old and New Testaments. God wants more than anything, to have fellowship with you in perfect peace (שָׁלוֹם שָׁלוֹם--Isaiah 26:3). Will you accept this gift? It starts with recognizing you are bankrupt without God. In thought, motive, word and deed you have erred from his standards. Surrender this all to him and turst that his death and resurrection satisfies the penalty of your sin. Ask him to come into your life and renew you, to live for his glory. Read the scriptures to understand the nature of God and how he wants us to live (Romans 15:4).

Answered prayer

A minor mechanical flaw of my t-tube is what's keeping my voice from being sufficiently audible. Being too long, the tube is holding my vocal cords open, letting too much air escape. I'll head to the OR (again!) to have it shortened next week. I'm thankful for answered prayer that my vocal cords are fine and my voice will be restored.

Finding my voice

It's been 2 weeks since I've had my t-tube reinserted and my voice is still just a whisper. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, but my voice is just barely existent. It is very frustrating but I'm thankful for breathing well and sleeping well. Yesterday, I was able to go to church for the first time in weeks which was a blessing. I'm looking forward to being more active, voice or not, and seeing what the Lord has for me.

As hard as it is to not think on a day-to-day basis due to my condition, I'm venturing to find an abode of my own outside of Beth Abe. I imagine it will be quite a process so I figured I'd start to hopefully move in favorable weather. Quads and cold don't mix!

I've spent many months in physical and spiritual trials, sick with UTIs, going through major bladder surgery, and then contending with trach problems. I can't tell which was worse. Before that, I was gearing up to go back to school and had a new interest in grant writing and non-profit management. What do I do now? Where do I belong? How will I be a productive member of society? I want to be useful. I don't want spend the rest of my days not making a mark as I've always imagined. I grew up in the middle of rallies against drugs, corrupt landlords and school inequality. My family was active in the church feeding the homeless and donating clothes. I imagined myself as a public servant in some capacity which I think everyone should be. I have to reassess goals and take things slow.

I stand at the door and knock

I enjoyed the testimony of Corrie Ten Boom so much, that I got her book, "I stand at the door and knock" in audio format from audible.com. It's a compilation of her radio broadcasts in the 60's with Trans World Radio. She repeats the importance of being born again and attaining holiness through the power of the Holy Spirit. Her focus is solely on the Lord and the work he does in the believer. She says, "we don't need great faith, just faith in a great God." It was very encouraging to hear her nuggets of wisdom regarding surrender and that, even the Lord does!

I was surprised to learn that Corrie also struggled with worry and anxiety like myself. Who knew that would be case for a woman who risked her life to save Jews? It wasn't until after her imprisonment that she understood her experience was to be used to further the Gospel. Not only did she lead many to Christ inside the concentration camps, but she traveled to 61 countries to share the love and salvation of Christ! Paul makes a similar realization in his epistle to the Philipians: "But I want you to know, brethren, that the things [which happened] to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."--Philipians 1:12-14

The body of Christ is exploding in places of heavy persecution like China, North Korea, Iran and Egypt. In places where imprisonment is inevitable, people are coming to Jesus through visions, dreams and divine appointments. Missionaries are risking their lives to bring the Word of God to areas where it is forbidden. Aid goes to families of prisoners and martyrs. Medical needs are provided for. If the Lord is moving you to support persecuted Christians, a great organization is Voice of the Martyrs. Pray for our brethren as we are one body. Intercession is important and often our best defense.

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

I just devoured another book, an ebook on my new nook color. It's quad friendly, making page turrning a breeze! I read "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. I highly recommend it for everyone. Going through quadriplegia makes me thirsty for tales of survival, particularly from other believers. Corrie Ten Boom and her family were led to protect Jews during German occupation in Holland. For 2 years, they hid Jews in their homes until they were caught and sent to Nazi concentration camps in Holland and Germany. Corrie describes their experience and how they were able to endure by the Grace of God. It was primarily through her sister Betsie that she learned that God had them there for a reason and that they could find joy in their circumstance. Focusing on opportunities to minister to even their persecuters, Betsie saw the work that God would lay out for Corrie as a result of their suffering. Joni Eareckson Tada shares a similar realization from her own suffering and it's no surprise that she writes the forward. I, too, share this testimony; that through my ordeal becoming paralyzed, I could minister to others and learn to depend on Jesus for his Grace. I am not strong in any of this. Often I'm scared, anxious, and feeble. Quite honestly, I didn't think I'd live this long. Between my raging UTI's and trach problems, I've felt at the edge of another great height, bracing for a long fall before being lifted up on eagle's wings. Still, I'm here, and am convinced He has more to show me before taking me home.

Higher ways,Higher thoughts...

I've been listening to Joni Eareckson Tada's book "A place of healing" again which I highly recommend. She speaks of many people who pray for her to be healed and believe she should be healed if she only has enough faith. She tears through these conceptions using God's Word and examples of Jesus healing. For example, Jesus healed many people, but there were many more that he didn't heal. Those he did heal weren't guaranteed lifelong health They died later. What I value most from this reading is her candid revelation of her own suffering and how she deals with it spiritually. There's something about hearing another believer who also physically suffers that has more weight. It reminds me of what Paul shares via the Holy Spirit in 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. One thing she focuses on is God's promises and looking forward to her new body in heaven. She also reminds herself that without all she's been through, she couldn't have ministered to many people globally with practical needs and the Gospel. I know for myself, I felt my purpose was to share how God had revealed himself to me through this accident. I became much more fulfilled when I "delighted in the Lord" (Psalm 37:4) and replaced my will with his. It's hard to do this in the midst of the trial, particularly when you are physically suffering, but when you are given the opportunity to minister to others who are also suffering, you give God the Glory. Such is the case now with Joni and I. we experience much nerve pain from our broken spines and whatever other secondary condition occurs with it. Joni admitted having increased anxiety and fear with her increased pain and now, her new battle with cancer. I pray for her and her husband often and her ministry. It's another thing that becomes more urgent when you understand suffering. The term is compassion: to suffer with. Jesus has much compassion as he came to suffer with us. He also understood that God's will outweighs the need to be pain free (Matthew 26:39,42). Saving people from eternal damnation is more important than saving yourself from affliction. If you or others come to God after experiencing or witnessing suffering, than it is preferred. If I didn't have this accident, chances are, I still wouldn't be following Jesus. I thank God that he was merciful to save me from death and allow me to live for his Glory. I am his "living epistle" (2 Corinthians 3:3) and lead others to his living water.

VOM sent me the testimony of a Christian woman in North Korea and it was very humbling. She suffered much affliction physically and emotionally, more than I think I could endure even. But like myself, this woman is sure of how God has revealed himself to her and her purpose is to share the good news of Jesus who alone gives eternal life. Like Paul, she is firmly convinced of what God has for her through her faith (2 Timothy 1:12).

At first after reading Sister Yang's story, I was just heart broken and thought it was incredibly unfair for God to let this continue. But even Joseph understood that his tribulation through prison and slavery, allowed him to provide for his family in famine and multiply the children of Israel. It is seeking God and his word that gives me comfort through this fallen planet. Please pray for sister Yang and our brethren abroad who suffer greatly for their faith. We have it very good in this country that we can freely worship Jesus. Don't waste time not sharing his love and prayers with people, especially the body of Christ.

In light of eternity

Ever since my accident, I've realized that nothing matters in light of eternity. As a healthy, able bodied adult, I trusted in the prospects of a lifetime of a healthy, abled body. However, I learned that would not be the case for myself and many other people. On that roof, I also understood that no one could help me but God. Although life as a quadriplegic is very challenging, I must say suffering has brought me closer to God and more sympathetic to others who are suffering. It's hard to look forward to eternity when you are living comfortably here. But don't be mistaken--nothing here lasts--not our bodies, wealth, or possessions. We are all accountable to God, whether we like it or not. We will all stand before him alone, witnessing his absolute truth, Glory, Holiness, and Righteous judgement. How do I know this? Folks, we didn't just spontaneously evolve here. A single cell is too complicated to have assembled itself in a primordial goo. The universe was created along with time and space and and it was created by an all-powerful, non-material, intelligent being that transends time and space. That being, God, has revealed himself in the Bble, an incredibly harmonious set of books written over a period of 1500 years, by 40 differnt authors in 3 languages. There is no other book in history that is as well documented with accurate manuscripts.

My problem as of late, has been this constant struggle in this condition. I've been in and out of the hospital and anxiety ridden. Problems with my trach have resurfaced and it's exhausting to maintain. A brother in the Lord is suffering with terminal cancer. A fellow quad has been in the hospital again, on life support. I'm not afraid of dying. I know where I'm going. It's between life and death that is most troubling. I've been there a few times and it is the most mind bending and painfully slow process (sometimes). Jesus willingly went to the cross, but he sweat blood in anxiety over it! This gives me more comfort than people telling me "be anxious for nothing but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving make your requests known to God." (Philipians 4:6) It's eassy to tell someone not to be anxious. What I love about my savior is that he truly understands. He became human to suffer the way we suffer. Not to just sit in the heavens and wag his finger at us. He knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead but he still wept. He could have teleported to Jacob's well but instead he walked 25 miles to meet the samaritan woman.

I find myself thinking like Job sometimes: why couldn't I not have been born or born still? Then I would be asleep in peace." But he chose me, even before the foundation of the world, that I should live for his Glory and s share eternity with him (Ephesians 1:4). Compared with eternity, our lives are truly a vapor here. What has helped me endure is knowing that through my life, God is using me. I'll never know how much this side of eternity, but I want to be faithful with my talents (Matthew 25:14-30).

What are you doing with the talents God gave you for his Glory? How are you spending eternity? Eternity with God comes only through faith in Jesus Christ. Let him be your Lord and Savior, better things awaits!

This is a sermon from Calvary Chapel of Agape in John 12. Pastor Richard speaks of what's really important in life:

http://www.calvarychapelofagape.org/?p=1563