Friday, March 4, 2011

My Testimony

I wanted to rewrite this because I want to properly honor my parents while giving glory to God. Many people share my experience and walk away from God because they feel "God's not fair." At times it feels that way! But I submit to you that He is just, gracious and merciful.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight Oh Lord my strength and my redeemer.-Psalm 19:14

I grew up in the Bronx in the 80's, and my parents strove to keep me safe. They dedicated my brother and I to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel:

And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. 1 Samuel 1:11

The point was to raise the child in the ways of the Lord. We are now under the covenant of grace through Jesus Christ, where we do not have to keep dietary or any other law to be considered righteous. We are covered by the righteousness of Jesus.

My parents were young and were not perfect. They made some sore mistakes that lasted years. But I was blessed they raised us with values that kept us off the streets. My parents did not stay together and my broken home broke my faith. we stayed with my mother and that became difficult after awhile. I became depressed and did not get along with my brother and mother. I went upstate for college and was sure I would never come back after much hurt. How could God let this happen? I walked my own way and led a gay lifestyle. I did things I would never do. All the while, I petitioned for God to answer me why there was so much hurt in the world continually. Where was His justice? Little did I know He was holding his wrath from me, maybe the person reading this now...I did not graduate college by one semester and my mother was not pleased. I flailed from job to job until 2007 when I had a work accident falling from a roof. While I was slipping I thought, "Lord take me!" After years of not walking with God, I put ultimate faith in Him because He was all there was! I didn't want to remember the fall or impact and he was merciful for that. I woke up in ICU, in the throes of being intubated, between life and death. Lord only knows how I had the guts to fight. Every night, I asked God to let me live one more day to see my mother. It was the most difficult time of my life to date. There were moments I thought I would die. But God had me live to share my story and glorify his name.

After 18 years of not seeing my father, The Lord brought him back into my life. God molded him into a patient, Godly man yielding the fruits of the spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) After a month in ICU, I was weened from the vent and went to rehab at Mount Sinai in NYC. While recovering some function, I sought the Lord again, knowing he saved me from physical death and quite possibly, spiritual death. Because of the life I was living, I was at enmity with God (2 Peter 2:20-22). His word clearly says those who practice homosexuality will not enter the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:26-27; Lev. 18:22; Gen. 19:1-13) Homosexuality occurs because of a brokenness in the world, a break in God's initial perfect will. When Adam and Eve disobeyed it was all down hill! We only "feel" it's natural because we go by lusts! however, when I sought the Lord Jesus to change me on this, He did! My father has been single for many years. But he is not alone! He has Jesus and if He wills, a Godly woman will come into his life. Jesus spoke to me then and said just to trust him. "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."

Since, I have felt more spiritually content and not lonely. I would be happy and honored to have a Godly man in my life as he has shaped me into a Godly woman. But I''m married to the Lord first and am happy to serve him until He takes me home or raptures his church at the last trump. (1 Cor. 15:51-53; 1 thess. 4:13-18)

If you do not know the peace of God in your life, I would suggest searching the scriptures. They are backed by many manuscripts, textual criticism, extra-biblical sources and archeological evidence. Our faith is based on facts, not fairy tales. Today is the day of salvation. Do not let pride or disobedience hold you.

Pray to Jesus for forgiveness and that you want him to be Lord and Savior of your life. Find a bible teaching church and study his word. Share what God has done in your life!!!

A great site to answer your questions is

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