Another step of faith

After being in and out of the hospital for over a week, I was given ample opportunity to trust God with my health. It hasn't been easy! I'm still suffering from much pain and bowel complications. At one point, I was sure I was going to die! I quickly put on the No storm too Great! CD and prayed for peace. I even committed my spirit to the Lord, expecting to wake in his arms. But I was still agitated. However, I had a very calm and reassuring EMT worker named Charlie with an angelic face. I was taken care of quickly and admitted to the hospital. I was glad to hear psalm 91 at the hospital. I was stabilized and treated well and thankful to have my parents with me. Even still, my heart feels overwhelmed with gratitude, with the presence of God's Holiness and righteousness besides my frailty.

A woman in her seventies came into the room with pulmonary fibrosis. She had low oxygen saturation and had to be put on a bi-pap mask. It is very hard to tolerate as it forces air into the lungs to push out any fluids. I asked her husband if she wanted to listen to the Psalms as it helped me. He said he would ask her another time as it was getting late. He went home and it was time for the aides to clean her and get her situated. She was quiet for a long time and no one came. Finally, an aide answered her bell and the woman asked to be washed. The aide snapped at her and said she had to wait. Now when you are sick and suffering, the last thing you need is someone speaking to you nastily. The act of bathing in itself is very ministerial. It's an opportunity to give compassion and comfort a person needs to adjust to the hospital. Shortly after, the nurse came in and I told him what happened. He said that was unacceptable and he would take care of it. A few minutes later, a manager came and apologized to the woman, assuring her she would get care and it was their job to provide the best care in a timely manner. When she left, I vocally praised God, lifted my hand and prayed with her! She lifted her hand as well and vocalized her troubles to the Lord. After the aide cleaned her (trying to justify her behavior all the while) I had my aide give the woman my ipod to listen to No Storm too Great!-Psalm 91. Soon after, she slept soundly.

Everyone asks me how I got paralyzed. After a while, it becomes annoying, even invasive. People take a piece of you every time, meanwhile they give nothing back. they meet you for 2 minutes, see you in your condition and just want to satisfy their curiosity, never sharing anything about themselves, a single traumatizing experience or how they are broken in some way. So I decided to stop telling people. I would say, "I really don't want to talk about it," or simply, "none of your business." But God nudged at me that my accident is a testament to his reality that can be used for his glory. I complied not knowing who would be ordained to hear my message. A quirky nurse took a while to ask and I quickly cut to the chase. "I was a do gooder installing solar panels and fell from the roof. the best thing was that I found Jesus and not only did he save my life but he gave me eternal life. I now live for his glory." She didn't even blink. "Yes and he will judge the living and the dead..." she said dryly. "Do you believe in Jesus?' I asked. "No." She she said. "I'm Jewish." "Well, have you read the Jewish scriptures?" I asked. This was the person God ordained me to witness to. I was happy I was obedient to my Lord! I grabbed my Bible. My quad hands had some trouble flipping to my first verse but Nurse Feigenbaum was genuinely interested. "I have to get to another patient but I'll be back, I'm interested if you couldn't tell by now!" she did come back and I had her read Proverbs 30:4 aloud. She said everything except 'son.' Then I had her read Isaiah 53 in it's entirety. "Interesting" she said. "Is Isaiah in the Old Testament?" Was I really hearing this? I assured her so and then pointed her to Micah 5:2, where a ruler in Israel would rise up from Bethlehem who has been from eternity. I also spoke of Isaiah 9:6 where a child would be born of a virgin and the titles given to him were divine names: father of eternity, mighty God. I was hoping she wouldn't hate me afterwards because I really grew to love this nurse! She had a fabulous sense of humor and the best curly red hair. She was compassionate, caring and never lost her cool, despite how busy it got. Luckily, things between us stayed good. She seemed happy to meet my father. I continue to pray that the Lord do a work in her heart.

I was in and out of the ER after I was discharged from severe pain and the shakes. It could only be relieved from IV fluids and initially I thought it was still from the infection being treated. But every time they found nothing wrong, not even an infection. Finally, I had one of my nurses do an enema on me just in case that was the source of the pain. Indeed it made me feel just better enough to sleep without the shakes! I haven't felt that much pain in a while. But little by little, I cleared out my system and have been well enough to be in my chair. I thank God for His faithfulness to comfort me through my parents and the body of Christ. I feel Blessed to minister to others as well.

I had a difficult moment with my case worker because I tried staying in the Hospital long enough for her to get there and advocate for me. Due to a snow storm that didn't happen, but she stressed my out over the phone with things I no longer had control over. The hospital saw fit that I could go and just when they're giving me the discharge papers, she calls and says "well are you sure? The treatment takes a while to work--" In comes my flesh and I am no longer calm! Thank God I have an advocate (1 John 1:9)

Now I am enjoying good food and getting out as much as I can before my surgery on the 16th. Please keep me in prayer that all goes smoothly.

"Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered" Psalm 32:1

A couple of days ago, I ran into someone I met casually in the halls of Beth abraham. He attended the adult day care program and seemed very bored (he looked very young) so I said if he wanted to hang out he could find me on the fourth floor and maybe we could play music or mess around on the computer. Well, I didn't see him again for awhile until Saturday. I was on the way out to Dunkin' Donuts when he came on my floor looking for me. Another resident, who stuck on him like a barnacle, came also to check out my room. Once Dayquan was enjoying my Sony MDR-V6 headphones she got the picture and left. Anyway, I invited Dayquan to D&D and began telling him about my life. He told me about his and it became clear to me that his situation was pretty dire. He did not have a home. He was just crashing on his friend's couch and even that was tentative if his friend's boyfriend came over. Some nights, he was locked out and was forced to roll the streets or go to a shelter, which is not usually safe, especially for a disabled person! I noticed he wasn't sitting on a cushion and he was dysreflexic because he didn't have cathing kits to cath himself. The Lord sent a CNA my way and she provided cathing kits for him and I got him more necessary supplies from the cart in the hall. In just a few hours, I saw how swiftly God was working in Dayquan's life and that he put him in my path for a purpose!

It was close to end of visiting hours so I prayed with him and asked if he wanted to come to church the next day. He waited for me at 8 in the morning! We finally left at 9:45 to take the 39 to Morris Park ave...

The day was beautiful and Calvary welcomed Dayquan warmly. We came in time for worship and I was squarely in God's presence. I couldn't help but lift my hand and praise him for all he did for Dayquan, and that was just the beginning! Pastor Rich has been teaching from the book of Romans which is doctrinally powerful. In Chapter 4, we learned that Abraham (the father of the three major faiths), was justified not by works or good deeds but by faith:

[Cometh] this blessedness then upon the circumcision [only], or upon the uncircumcision also? for we say that faith was reckoned to Abraham for righteousness. Rom 4:9

How was it then reckoned? when he was in circumcision, or in uncircumcision? Not in circumcision, but in uncircumcision. Rom 4:10

And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness of the faith which [he had yet] being uncircumcised: that he might be the father of all them that believe, though they be not circumcised; that righteousness might be imputed unto them also: Rom 4:11

And the father of circumcision to them who are not of the circumcision only, but who also walk in the steps of that faith of our father Abraham, which [he had] being [yet] uncircumcised. Rom 4:12

For the promise, that he should be the heir of the world, [was] not to Abraham, or to his seed, through the law, but through the righteousness of faith. Rom 4:13

Abraham was justified by following God's word, not because he was religious. He was not even circumcised until he was 99! He was a Pagan called out of the land of Chaldeans and was given the promise as a Gentile. The circumcision was just an external sign of the covenant. The law was given to What matters is the heart and I was glad Dayquan was there to hear Romans Chapter 4 as his first sermon. It cuts to the heart of the matter: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ spoken of since the old testament brings salvation, not works of the law.

Because the law worketh wrath: for where no law is, [there is] no transgression. Romans 4:15

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? Romans 6:1

God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Romans 6:2

Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Romans 6:3

Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4

I skipped ahead there but true Christians will live according to the way Jesus taught his disciples. We shed our old ways of the world, grow in grace, and bear the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). When we do sin we should confess them to Jesus, our advocate! (1 John 1:9)

The best part of the day is that Dayquan accepted Jesus as his savior! I prayed with him and the pastor a simple prayer that he recognized that he was a sinner, that he needed Jesus' redemption, he believed he died on the cross for his sins and was raised the third day. He then accepted him as Lord of his life. Now what's personal is the intention of the heart. Only him and Jesus knows that. He then needs to develop a relationship with the Lord. That's ultimately what God wants with us, to trust him to lead us because he loves us.

Now I knew The Lord was still moving on getting Dayquan out of his situation so we prayed about that as well. I told him to come to Beth Abraham early the next day to speak to an admissions counselor about possibly getting a bed here. As much as I have issues with this place, it is the best to have his own bed and have his medical needs met. I called him at 11am the next day and he was still sleeping! I guess he was exhausted but my father and I wanted to address the urgency of the situation. I ended up speaking to an admissions counselor and told Dayquan all he needed was a referral from his social worker at the Day program! Even with this good news, he still needed a nudge to get out and jump at the opportunity immediately. I began to feel frustrated at his lack of motivation so my father then called him to come over so that he and Dayquan could meet with his social worker. By the time my father returned, it was a done deal. Dayquan was being admitted that day into the second floor! I was so overjoyed and immediately went out to get Dayquan toiletries. Just having your basic needs met does a lot. Jesus gives us this example in John 13:14 and Matt 25:31-40. The Pharisees were so caught up in the law, that all they saw was when Jesus healed 'on the sabbath' or if his disciples ate with Gentiles. I digress...

He has been resting a lot (as been I!) he's needed it after sleeping on a couch and not sitting on a cushion.

I went to have my new back adjusted to my chair the other day--what a difference! I can actually put my hands in my lap effortlessly. I did chew them out a bit and serve them a letter stating how they royally screwed up in not fixing my chair for months. Lois, the Home Medical technician was quick to get defensive, apologize and roll right over it, but they really screwed up. I haven't been able to use my chair for months and your wheelchair is important. I like the work that they do in terms of adjustments, but I've spoken to others that have been less than satisfied with how repairs are handled.

I like the convenience of the powerchair, but I'm antsy to get settled back into my baby again, pushing again.

Pray for the Lord to do a continual work in Dayquan, and that he fills me with His spirit to continue to minister to him and others on the floor.