Post Op

I got back to Beth Abraham on thhursday, after 8 long days post-op Mitrofanoff procedure. I had an NG tube in for four days which was very difficult. It had to be reinserted 3-4 times because it was dislodged. Succtioning was very uncomfortable with the NG tube. I struggled to hold the tube in place, trying not to gag it out. I couldn't speak because they changed my trach to a shiley. Amazingly, it wasn't that hard for people to understand me. I annunciate well and most times, people were attentive.

I have mixed feelings about nursing care. I went to a "step-down" unit located in 8 Center Guggenheim Pavilion, where the staff seemed to complain about patients if they called too much. That included me, since I needed succtioning and turning. I made a complaint to the adminstrator. My father spoke with my neighbor and confirmed the complaints.

I was very weak after surgery and laying on a pegasus bed made me less mobile. Everrything was uncomfortable after a few days! I was also off from all of my meds, so I went through serious withdrawal. I hallucinated scenarios and at points was convinced that I needed to escape and my family was struggling to "free me." I disconnected my I.V. lines and refused to be scanned until I saw my parents. I had to seriously focus on the Lord then to get over my state of mind and discomfort. Needless to say, this is a very difficult surgery to get through!! By the last day, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I wanted my hair washed and to get in my chair. I tried yesterday, but it was too soon. Now I am practicing sitting up, eating better and stretching out my arms/hands. In two weeks, I'll go back to Dr. Vapnek to take out the stiches and utilize the stoma for the first time!

So far, everything is a success. My new T-tube, however, I'm not fond of. It seems smaller than before, and it is very difficult to get secretions up. So far, I cannot uncap myself, and succtioning is more of a serious matter. Please pray for conntinued healing in this area.

It is easier tto eat. I no longer have that volcanoe feeling in my bowels. This should get even better with time. I'm looking forward to gaining weight and exercising again. I depend heavily on God's grace every day; for comfort, peace, healing, strength. I'm not brave at all. I cling to God's word for hope that he will deliver and he has been faithful.

trouble

I've been going through a difficult time as I wait for a surgery date. One of the surgeons has not been definitive so everything is on hold. In the interim, I'm battling another UTI and taking two antibiotics. My body is in pain and all around not happy with me. I'm bedridden most of the time and eating is a chore. Water and peppermint tea are the beverages of choice. To ease the pain, I lay on my side, I read the bible, mainly the Psalms. Recently I downloaded the NIV Dramatized audio bible from zondervan. You can get it from amazon for free with a 30 day trial membership to audible! I know it will com in handy as I'm recovering. There is nothing like reading an encouraging poem, someone who has felt suffering like you, but is comforted because of their trust in your Lord. It is our nature to depend on ourselves when things are going well. But when disaster hits, we immediately ask God to help us. When we have to depend on him for sustenance, that's when we recognize who holds everything in place. Despite everything, I am very very lucky I have the food, shelter and medicine I need. Many people don't and I try to keep that in mind when I feel overwhelmed. I still have my Voice of the Martyrs poster on the wall, detailing countries that persecute people for their Christian faith. You can see a similar map here. I think about those people who are barred from even having the Bible or worship together in peace. Christian converts are physically harassed by the police, tortured, and their churches are burned. Their pastors are killed. These problems were once only periphery to me at best, but since taking up my cross and following Jesus, the unfailing love of our God to reach down to us is what I cling to and suffering is at the forefront.

Ringing in the New Year at Beth Abe 2011

I'm in the middle of doing a lot but so far it's been good and I give all glory to Jesus. I did some more resarching for grants, this time for Five for Food, an organization affilliated with Far Reaching Ministries but doesn't receive any significant funding from them. Our church supports a missionary out in Uganda, heavily affected by the civil war and the Lord's Resistance Army. One of the women there took it on herself to begin teaching the local children there who were orphans and cared for them. Many of these children have been maimed, paralyzed, blinded or deaf because of war casualties. During a women's fellowship, I spoke with the missionary's mother, Marilyn Fye and told her I could look for organizations that give rehabilitative equipment Internationally. I got a pretty good list researching at Foundation Center and even a call back when I left my contact info. The important stuff is having all the pertinent information the potential donor want from you. I have not been able to complete a grant application because of this so keep that in prayer!

Another thing heavily on my mind is my upcoming Mitroffanoff surgery. It is involved because I need bladder augmentation. Surgery is not fun, especially if it involves having to drinking go-lightly and get a tube down your nose. I sure hope they do that while I'm asleep!

I keep getting UTIs and it is not pleasant. I get a pain that spreads from where I sit up through my abdomen. Then I can't even be in the chair. I have to lay on my side and just rely on God's Word to comfort me. It gets hard to eat, sleep, so this surgery will help immensely. I just need to get through recovery.

This means school is pushed back until the fall. I also had much trouble getting my transcripts from Binghamton (even though I didn't finish that class). But I just have to trust the Lord and everything will be done in His timing.

The big question: Are there any resolutions? I really just want to be closer to the Lord. I so look forward to when He comes for the Church. But I'm also looking forward to making more music, more videos and fulfilling God's calling for me to show people that our life is short and the only thing that matters is the eternity of God and in His likeness, we also have an eternity (Psalm 90:1-4). What we do with our lives determines our eternal fate.

God Bless every one and have an awesome new year!