Encouraging Scriptures for those who suffer

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Prov. 3:5-6

My surgery was postponed due to trach complication! The only way to have the surgery is to take out the trach, put in a shiley trach during the surgery, and then the next day, have the t-tube put back in! It sounds incredibly risky but I'm trusting the Lord, not my understanding.

I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

All I know is that I love the Lord with all my heart and I am forever grateful for His mercy saving my life and showing me His Truth through the sacrifice of his son Jesus. His Spirit has pressed upon me to share my story, that God has been gracious and merciful. Regardless of anything in my life, God has been faithful. On the day I broke my neck, I seriously called out to God and trusted him with my life. Nothing else mattered. Since then I've learned to depend on him and hear his voice through his word.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1-

"And our hope of you [is] stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so [shall ye be] also of the consolation."

"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

"Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver [us];

"Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift [bestowed] upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf." 2 cor. 1:7-11

Many people have prayed for me and continue to pray for me. I'm not crazy about the surgeon working on my t-tube. But I have the Great Physician on my side and he's going to make things happen! I cannot be plucked from his hand! (John 10:27-30)

"Blessed [is] he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.

The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; [and] he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. The LORD will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness." Ps. 41:1-3

The Lord answered my prayer with this Psalm as I prayed about anxiety over my pain, over the surgery decision. In the interim, I fight off urinary infections and it's extremely painful. It's not sensational pain, but a searing nerve pain that's difficult to tame. Sometimes all I can do is pray and eat God's words, cling to his promise that this suffering is nothing in comparison to the Glory that will be revealed in the last time (Romans 8:18). I imagine those who are in prison for sharing the Gospel in many other countries where it is "illegal." People are tortured, maimed and killed. When my pain is at it's height, I shake. "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20) I also pray for Joni Eareckson Tada, who suffers from excruciating pain. Her testimony has been a blessing to me in my journey, particularly her latest battle with pain and her drive to work for the Lord! Listen as she reads in "A Place of Healing."

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, [and] from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth [shall be thy] shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; [nor] for the arrow [that] flieth by day; [Nor] for the pestilence [that] walketh in darkness; [nor] for the destruction [that] wasteth at noonday..." Ps.91:1-6

This Psalm has been very strengthening and encouraging as I go through many physical trials in and out of the hospital. I have a CD called no storm too Great! that prays focusing on this Psalm. I highly recommend it for people who need calming meditation on God's Word!

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." (Eph. 6:18-20)

Thank you for your prayers. Continue to pray for this upcoming surgery that should be in early-mid March. Pray that all goes smoothly with my tracheostomy and my bladder surgery and I recover well. I want to be strong and back in my chair!

Maranatha

The Word of the Lord stands forever

Everything is falling into place according to the scriptures. For us in Christ, it doesn't happen fast enough, but it is happening. In light of what's happening in Egypt is just another testament to God's fulfillment to His Word in Isaiah 19

It is clear that Egypt has been unhappy with their leadership because of his alliance with the U.S. and Israel. They are very vocal with English media about it. They are also vocal of what they want to do once they are free: Destroy Israel. Since the very beginning of Satan's fall from heaven, his goal has been to take as many of God's creations with him to Hell as possible, especially, God's chosen people Israel. The messiah was prophesied in Bethlehem, King Herod had all males killed born the same time as Jesus was (Matthew 2:16) Mosab Hassan Yousef, son of a prominent Hamas leader in Ramalah, said it well when he said,

"Generation after generation dreams the same dream: drive out the Israelis, kill the Israelis, destroy Israel. We cannot see beyond our borders because we are blinded by our pain and hatred." Later he says, "When will we begin fighting with our brains instead of our bombs? With reason instead of retaliation? Even a two-year-old child can destroy. Only men and women of wisdom, vision and courage can build a nation."

Read his whole Blog entry "What do we want" here.

Islamists here in America are not much different. Just listen to their speech. The groups Revolution Muslim and Islamic Thinkers Society are home grown and ready to commit their lives to JIHAD. And yet, our country is still so delusional that Islam is a religion of peace that it even courts it as our first line of defense! I was shocked to see that the same man spouting hatred in Times Square was recently standing in my room, in a guise to reconcile my brother and I, but really there just to proselytize Islam. So "peaceful" for a second there, but I quickly unraveled his sheep's clothing and told him to leave.

Satan comes to kill, rob and destroy. He is a liar and the father of it! "Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son. (1 John 2:22)

Satan knows his time is almost up. That's why persecution is high. We know in Indonesia, the Ahmadiyaans are being persecuted. The Christians are also being persecuted hardcore here and need prayer. It won't be long now. Hold fast to what is good brothers and sisters! Be encouraged! 1 Peter 1:6-7 Heck, keep reading that chapter, it is a wealth of encouragement!

Fouad Massri finishes this best in the latest newsletter of crescent project:

"So, how should we pray?

We should pray that God will make the church strong, that those who are believers in Christ multiply, that they will shine for Christ in these problems, and that many Muslims will see that Christ gives true freedom. "

MARANATHA!

Another step of faith

After being in and out of the hospital for over a week, I was given ample opportunity to trust God with my health. It hasn't been easy! I'm still suffering from much pain and bowel complications. At one point, I was sure I was going to die! I quickly put on the No storm too Great! CD and prayed for peace. I even committed my spirit to the Lord, expecting to wake in his arms. But I was still agitated. However, I had a very calm and reassuring EMT worker named Charlie with an angelic face. I was taken care of quickly and admitted to the hospital. I was glad to hear psalm 91 at the hospital. I was stabilized and treated well and thankful to have my parents with me. Even still, my heart feels overwhelmed with gratitude, with the presence of God's Holiness and righteousness besides my frailty.

A woman in her seventies came into the room with pulmonary fibrosis. She had low oxygen saturation and had to be put on a bi-pap mask. It is very hard to tolerate as it forces air into the lungs to push out any fluids. I asked her husband if she wanted to listen to the Psalms as it helped me. He said he would ask her another time as it was getting late. He went home and it was time for the aides to clean her and get her situated. She was quiet for a long time and no one came. Finally, an aide answered her bell and the woman asked to be washed. The aide snapped at her and said she had to wait. Now when you are sick and suffering, the last thing you need is someone speaking to you nastily. The act of bathing in itself is very ministerial. It's an opportunity to give compassion and comfort a person needs to adjust to the hospital. Shortly after, the nurse came in and I told him what happened. He said that was unacceptable and he would take care of it. A few minutes later, a manager came and apologized to the woman, assuring her she would get care and it was their job to provide the best care in a timely manner. When she left, I vocally praised God, lifted my hand and prayed with her! She lifted her hand as well and vocalized her troubles to the Lord. After the aide cleaned her (trying to justify her behavior all the while) I had my aide give the woman my ipod to listen to No Storm too Great!-Psalm 91. Soon after, she slept soundly.

Everyone asks me how I got paralyzed. After a while, it becomes annoying, even invasive. People take a piece of you every time, meanwhile they give nothing back. they meet you for 2 minutes, see you in your condition and just want to satisfy their curiosity, never sharing anything about themselves, a single traumatizing experience or how they are broken in some way. So I decided to stop telling people. I would say, "I really don't want to talk about it," or simply, "none of your business." But God nudged at me that my accident is a testament to his reality that can be used for his glory. I complied not knowing who would be ordained to hear my message. A quirky nurse took a while to ask and I quickly cut to the chase. "I was a do gooder installing solar panels and fell from the roof. the best thing was that I found Jesus and not only did he save my life but he gave me eternal life. I now live for his glory." She didn't even blink. "Yes and he will judge the living and the dead..." she said dryly. "Do you believe in Jesus?' I asked. "No." She she said. "I'm Jewish." "Well, have you read the Jewish scriptures?" I asked. This was the person God ordained me to witness to. I was happy I was obedient to my Lord! I grabbed my Bible. My quad hands had some trouble flipping to my first verse but Nurse Feigenbaum was genuinely interested. "I have to get to another patient but I'll be back, I'm interested if you couldn't tell by now!" she did come back and I had her read Proverbs 30:4 aloud. She said everything except 'son.' Then I had her read Isaiah 53 in it's entirety. "Interesting" she said. "Is Isaiah in the Old Testament?" Was I really hearing this? I assured her so and then pointed her to Micah 5:2, where a ruler in Israel would rise up from Bethlehem who has been from eternity. I also spoke of Isaiah 9:6 where a child would be born of a virgin and the titles given to him were divine names: father of eternity, mighty God. I was hoping she wouldn't hate me afterwards because I really grew to love this nurse! She had a fabulous sense of humor and the best curly red hair. She was compassionate, caring and never lost her cool, despite how busy it got. Luckily, things between us stayed good. She seemed happy to meet my father. I continue to pray that the Lord do a work in her heart.

I was in and out of the ER after I was discharged from severe pain and the shakes. It could only be relieved from IV fluids and initially I thought it was still from the infection being treated. But every time they found nothing wrong, not even an infection. Finally, I had one of my nurses do an enema on me just in case that was the source of the pain. Indeed it made me feel just better enough to sleep without the shakes! I haven't felt that much pain in a while. But little by little, I cleared out my system and have been well enough to be in my chair. I thank God for His faithfulness to comfort me through my parents and the body of Christ. I feel Blessed to minister to others as well.

I had a difficult moment with my case worker because I tried staying in the Hospital long enough for her to get there and advocate for me. Due to a snow storm that didn't happen, but she stressed my out over the phone with things I no longer had control over. The hospital saw fit that I could go and just when they're giving me the discharge papers, she calls and says "well are you sure? The treatment takes a while to work--" In comes my flesh and I am no longer calm! Thank God I have an advocate (1 John 1:9)

Now I am enjoying good food and getting out as much as I can before my surgery on the 16th. Please keep me in prayer that all goes smoothly.

trouble

I've been going through a difficult time as I wait for a surgery date. One of the surgeons has not been definitive so everything is on hold. In the interim, I'm battling another UTI and taking two antibiotics. My body is in pain and all around not happy with me. I'm bedridden most of the time and eating is a chore. Water and peppermint tea are the beverages of choice. To ease the pain, I lay on my side, I read the bible, mainly the Psalms. Recently I downloaded the NIV Dramatized audio bible from zondervan. You can get it from amazon for free with a 30 day trial membership to audible! I know it will com in handy as I'm recovering. There is nothing like reading an encouraging poem, someone who has felt suffering like you, but is comforted because of their trust in your Lord. It is our nature to depend on ourselves when things are going well. But when disaster hits, we immediately ask God to help us. When we have to depend on him for sustenance, that's when we recognize who holds everything in place. Despite everything, I am very very lucky I have the food, shelter and medicine I need. Many people don't and I try to keep that in mind when I feel overwhelmed. I still have my Voice of the Martyrs poster on the wall, detailing countries that persecute people for their Christian faith. You can see a similar map here. I think about those people who are barred from even having the Bible or worship together in peace. Christian converts are physically harassed by the police, tortured, and their churches are burned. Their pastors are killed. These problems were once only periphery to me at best, but since taking up my cross and following Jesus, the unfailing love of our God to reach down to us is what I cling to and suffering is at the forefront.

Conforming the Mind...

Richard did a very poignant and heartfelt sermon last Sunday on just the first two verses of Romans 12, speaking of not conforming to the world, but to renew your mind according to the mind of Christ:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2

You can listen to the sermon here titled "Conformers or Transformers."

In light of the fact that God has saved us from our sins, that He is ever merciful, we should thank Him with our lives:

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service." (verse 1)

another verse is: "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

God wants us. Not necessarily our time or our money but for us to to worship him in spirit and in truth. Not rituals. Not Garbs. Not in what we eat. Jesus said, "Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man." (Matt 15:10-11) See also Isaiah 1:13-17

We can give money till our hearts content, go to church till our hearts content, but if we do not repent from the things which we know God doesn't want us doing then it is in vain. All of us struggle with our flesh wether it be pride or lust or envy, anger, strife, etc. The way to deal with it is to combat it through the Word of God. Reading it exposes us for who we really are, tells us what we need and why:

"He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. "And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. "For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. John 3:18-21

It is no wonder that people now despise the Bible. That they joke about Jesus. People squirm when I mention it, the thought of being accountable to a divine law that is holy makes people outright defiant. I sure was! I thought since my dad initially wasn't the greatest and he was a Christian, why should I put my faith in God? I gave in to temptations of lust and walked away from God. Instead of being a transformer, I became a conformer.

How does one transform to the image of God? By seeking him. To seek comes from the Greek word eraunao to search or examine:

"Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace [that should come] unto you: Searching what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory that should follow." 1 Peter 10:10-11 Daniel the the prophet sought God with prayer, fasting and searching the scriptures. God reveals Himself through His Word as it is inspired by the Holy Spirit. It is there where one finds truth, comfort, guidance, rebuke and spiritual and practical understanding.

As a person who is bed bound often, I lean upon God's promises to get me through most days. It's not always easy! I can get distracted by my pain or by my roommate's television. But consistency helps, a willing heart definitely helps as well as different methods of getting the Word in. I use worship music and pray to that, since there is so much noise here. I recently purchased a CD called "No storm too great!" focusing on Psalm 91. Jeannie Rose prays different portions of this psalm along to soothing beach background that solidify the promises God gives for the listener. I like it because it is soothing and I can block everything else out in the nursing home. It also helps remember scripture and pray it. This can be applied to any verse/story in scripture to reassure yourself of God's blessing in his Covenant through Jesus. The rest of the world would rather we waste time in entertainment, partying, and selfish gain but just as in the days of Noah, God will save the righteous and destroy the wicked (Luke 17:26-27). Where are you today?

Ringing in the New Year at Beth Abe 2011

I'm in the middle of doing a lot but so far it's been good and I give all glory to Jesus. I did some more resarching for grants, this time for Five for Food, an organization affilliated with Far Reaching Ministries but doesn't receive any significant funding from them. Our church supports a missionary out in Uganda, heavily affected by the civil war and the Lord's Resistance Army. One of the women there took it on herself to begin teaching the local children there who were orphans and cared for them. Many of these children have been maimed, paralyzed, blinded or deaf because of war casualties. During a women's fellowship, I spoke with the missionary's mother, Marilyn Fye and told her I could look for organizations that give rehabilitative equipment Internationally. I got a pretty good list researching at Foundation Center and even a call back when I left my contact info. The important stuff is having all the pertinent information the potential donor want from you. I have not been able to complete a grant application because of this so keep that in prayer!

Another thing heavily on my mind is my upcoming Mitroffanoff surgery. It is involved because I need bladder augmentation. Surgery is not fun, especially if it involves having to drinking go-lightly and get a tube down your nose. I sure hope they do that while I'm asleep!

I keep getting UTIs and it is not pleasant. I get a pain that spreads from where I sit up through my abdomen. Then I can't even be in the chair. I have to lay on my side and just rely on God's Word to comfort me. It gets hard to eat, sleep, so this surgery will help immensely. I just need to get through recovery.

This means school is pushed back until the fall. I also had much trouble getting my transcripts from Binghamton (even though I didn't finish that class). But I just have to trust the Lord and everything will be done in His timing.

The big question: Are there any resolutions? I really just want to be closer to the Lord. I so look forward to when He comes for the Church. But I'm also looking forward to making more music, more videos and fulfilling God's calling for me to show people that our life is short and the only thing that matters is the eternity of God and in His likeness, we also have an eternity (Psalm 90:1-4). What we do with our lives determines our eternal fate.

God Bless every one and have an awesome new year!

Round Two!

After a second round of antibiotics, I still didn't feel well. I was in much pain to the point where I needed to lay in bed on my side. I scheduled an appt. with Dr. Bryce and had the catheter removed for a while again. I cried so much today. I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated. I can barely eat and I'm subjected to my roommate's horrible choice of TV programming: Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, all the day time Court shows...drama!

My father has been doing his best to minister to me practically. He got me probiotic pills to recolonize good flora in the intestines and ya ya region to avoid future UTIs. But I really needed to get to the bottom of this problem. The only good thing that came out of all this time in bed was making a youtube video in response to "YHWH in the Quran" a popular claim nowadays from muslims:

after a while, my condition worsened again and I had to go to the ER. That was last wednesday. They gave me pain meds via IV and gave me a cat scan that revealed much stool in the lower part of the colon that was causing pain but also revealed the truth that Jesus is YHWH, not Allah. I thank God that through this tribulation, he was able to bless me with the strength and wisdom to put that together--Hallelujah!

Romans 5:1-11

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

And not only [so], but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.

Brief Hospital stay

I stayed in the hospital for a few days to recover from severe nerve pain. I needed more medication and more round the clock care then I was getting. With reduced pain, I had gained my appetite back. My father had got Ensure so I can start gaining the weight I had lost. I thank everyone for their prayers and for the Lord's faithfulness!!!. I look at my world map, showing persecuted Christians for their faith from Voice of the Martyrs. Churches are burned, Bibles are burned. Pastors are killed, church members are imprisoned and tortured. Some of them have been in jail for years and imagine what goes through their minds. Has the Lord forsaken me? I felt more pain then I ever felt and I thought that. The Lord has not forsaken us. He says He shall never leave us nor forsake us (1 Kings 8:57) He leaves things for appointed times for our protection or his glory (Genesis 50:20); (Habakkuk 2:2-4).

I urge believers to keep praying for persecuted saints worldwide and contribute to their organization that provides Bibles, food, housing and other needs to families. Pray also for people who persecute that they may turn to Christ. Go to this link to find out how you can get involved. Encourage and edify one another with the word, Jesus is coming soon!