My Testimony

I wanted to rewrite this because I want to properly honor my parents while giving glory to God. Many people share my experience and walk away from God because they feel "God's not fair." At times it feels that way! But I submit to you that He is just, gracious and merciful.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight Oh Lord my strength and my redeemer.-Psalm 19:14

I grew up in the Bronx in the 80's, and my parents strove to keep me safe. They dedicated my brother and I to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel:

And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. 1 Samuel 1:11

The point was to raise the child in the ways of the Lord. We are now under the covenant of grace through Jesus Christ, where we do not have to keep dietary or any other law to be considered righteous. We are covered by the righteousness of Jesus.

My parents were young and were not perfect. They made some sore mistakes that lasted years. But I was blessed they raised us with values that kept us off the streets. My parents did not stay together and my broken home broke my faith. we stayed with my mother and that became difficult after awhile. I became depressed and did not get along with my brother and mother. I went upstate for college and was sure I would never come back after much hurt. How could God let this happen? I walked my own way and led a gay lifestyle. I did things I would never do. All the while, I petitioned for God to answer me why there was so much hurt in the world continually. Where was His justice? Little did I know He was holding his wrath from me, maybe the person reading this now...I did not graduate college by one semester and my mother was not pleased. I flailed from job to job until 2007 when I had a work accident falling from a roof. While I was slipping I thought, "Lord take me!" After years of not walking with God, I put ultimate faith in Him because He was all there was! I didn't want to remember the fall or impact and he was merciful for that. I woke up in ICU, in the throes of being intubated, between life and death. Lord only knows how I had the guts to fight. Every night, I asked God to let me live one more day to see my mother. It was the most difficult time of my life to date. There were moments I thought I would die. But God had me live to share my story and glorify his name.

After 18 years of not seeing my father, The Lord brought him back into my life. God molded him into a patient, Godly man yielding the fruits of the spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) After a month in ICU, I was weened from the vent and went to rehab at Mount Sinai in NYC. While recovering some function, I sought the Lord again, knowing he saved me from physical death and quite possibly, spiritual death. Because of the life I was living, I was at enmity with God (2 Peter 2:20-22). His word clearly says those who practice homosexuality will not enter the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:26-27; Lev. 18:22; Gen. 19:1-13) Homosexuality occurs because of a brokenness in the world, a break in God's initial perfect will. When Adam and Eve disobeyed it was all down hill! We only "feel" it's natural because we go by lusts! however, when I sought the Lord Jesus to change me on this, He did! My father has been single for many years. But he is not alone! He has Jesus and if He wills, a Godly woman will come into his life. Jesus spoke to me then and said just to trust him. "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."

Since, I have felt more spiritually content and not lonely. I would be happy and honored to have a Godly man in my life as he has shaped me into a Godly woman. But I''m married to the Lord first and am happy to serve him until He takes me home or raptures his church at the last trump. (1 Cor. 15:51-53; 1 thess. 4:13-18)

If you do not know the peace of God in your life, I would suggest searching the scriptures. They are backed by many manuscripts, textual criticism, extra-biblical sources and archeological evidence. Our faith is based on facts, not fairy tales. Today is the day of salvation. Do not let pride or disobedience hold you.

Pray to Jesus for forgiveness and that you want him to be Lord and Savior of your life. Find a bible teaching church and study his word. Share what God has done in your life!!!

A great site to answer your questions is gotquestions.org

True Salvation: Making Jesus Lord of your life!

What makes a true Christian or genuine salvation? Whether people believe in God or not, when the time comes, they hope to go to heaven because they were a "good person." But even Christians, especially in western countries, become comfortable after accepting Jesus as savior that they don't recognize him as LORD.

I have a roommate that *loves* Jesus. She will watch "lift every voice" on BET or Joel Osteen on Sunday. The rest of her week she dedicates her time, and I mean d-e-d-i-c-a-t-e-s her time to watching shows like Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos show and anything drama related. Something is amiss here:

Psalm 1

Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

2But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

3He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

4Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff

that the wind blows away.

5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish.

I have purged myself from various shows for this reason. I think the only show I enjoy watching that isn't filled with sexual innuendos, God mocking and violence is "The Office." However, I sojourn my time with a holy fear, the spirit tells me to work and serve the poor and needy. What will happen to my roommate when she meets Yeshua face to face when she has not let go of her worldly ways?

Jesus clearly sets the stage for who is and who isn't a real follower in John Chapter 13: "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: 'He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.'

Another important aspect in being a disciple is love. In John 13:34-35 Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Paul understood this importance when he wrote the 13th Chapter of 1 Corinthians: "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." This is tough! Many people are what I call "unloveable." Sometimes I am! I can be irritable from pain and frustration of being in this body. True love, agape love, is a selfless love that comes from the spirit. I'm learning this slowly as I pray more to be filled with the spirit daily. This is necessary to grow in grace and love people the way the Lord loved us:

"But as you abound in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all diligence, and in your love for us—see that you abound in this grace also. I speak not by commandment, but I am testing the sincerity of your love by the diligence of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich." 2Corinthians 8:7-9

Love is the chief fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self‑control. Against such things there is no law."

Back in the Gospel of John, Jesus explains the parable of the true vine: "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?" Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

That's serious and concerning. There are many "good" people out there that do not believe in God, or that believe they will get favor with him because they are good people. Maybe they go to church once in a while. But believing and obeying God's word are very important to salvation. David says in the Psalms, "I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name." James also says to be doers of the word, not just hearers (James 1:21-24).

The Lord has set an example for a reason. He came to be a servant because he wants us to serve. It's a hard pill for us to swallow but there's many cases where Christ wants us to turn down the "me" and up somebody else whether that be our neighbors or even our enemies! "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."Luke 6:27-28

Follow Jesus before Friends, family, possesions, even your own life. No one understands this better than the persecuted church!

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matt 19:23-29

This is what Jesus meant when he said, "I came not to bring peace but a sword." Families are divided for belief in Jesus and you need to be ready to choose. It's not always easy, but in light of eternal life and everlasting peace, the choice is clear. Jesus offers these and more.

Work for the Kingdom of God? Believe it or not, salvation is not just about Believing on the name of Jesus and then going on your merry way. Jesus said "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62

This is referring to the man who wanted to say goodbye to his house before following Jesus. Following Jesus is so important, you can drop something at any notice if it calls for it. This is the living God in bodily form asking you to follow him! Many people will be like " yeah, yeah I'm all about Jesus," but will be quickly distracted by other things. Jesus being Lord of your life means top priority. You work as if you serve Him, love as if it were Him and constantly strive to be more like Him.

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness— by whose stripes you were healed." 1 Peter 2:21-24

This is not easy! We are not expected to do things perfect like Jesus, but to strive to conform to his image (2 Peter 1:5-10; Philipians 3:13-16)

Finally, if you do not know by now, we are living in the end times. Unnatural storms, earthquakes undetected and unprecedented wars prophesied from the Bible are right on target. Some to note are Luke 21:25-26; Isaiah 19:2, Matthew 24:5-12, Zechariah 12:2. Prevalent in the Christian church are "lukewarm" people--those who aren't fully committed to Christ (Read Revelations 3). They call themselves Christians, they believe in Jesus, heck, they may even go to church, but they have not let go of world ideas. These include music, movies, politics, lifestyles and relationships that are contrary to the Word of God. Again, this is not easy from experience, but when faced with the Creator of Heaven and Earth, who are you going to follow? All flesh is as grass but the word of the Lord stands forever. (Isaiah 40:8) It is then that our spirit will spend eternity somewhere. Will you be with God? Or will you be condemned in hell forever?

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; "that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He [is] your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them." --Deuteronomy 30:19-20