Saturday, March 9, 2013

What about now?

I'm still enjoying tea. I recently turned 33. Things with my trach are still going fairly well. I have some  granulation tissue above the fenestra so my doctors want to put in a button trach soon. We'll see how it goes. It's hard for me to plan definitively too far in the future after all I've been through and continue to go through in this condition. As pastor J.D. of Calvary Chapel Kaneohe says, "I have plans, but my plans don't have me."

This place is full of hostility and I look forward to the time I can leave.  But there's so many whom I've grown to love that must continue to endure here. How then, can I glory in leaving? No matter where I go, there will never quite be the peace I seek, not for me or others that I love. A brother in Christ named Saeed has been held in a prison in Iraq for almost a year. He's been threatened and beaten and tortured to get him to deny Christ. How, then, can I glory in being comfortable? Not that it's bad to enjoy things but I want to keep a proper perspective. Jesus said, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

The Lord has been been really speaking to me in this area. One thing this institution has ministered to me is that I still need the Lord to change my heart in a lot of areas! I cannot have righteousness apart from God. I cannot do what he asks apart from his spirit. I need to be in constant fellowship with him, abiding in him (John 15:5).

I have no idea what God has in store for me. I'm thankful to enjoy learning new things and having new opportunities to glorify God where ever I am.