Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Higher ways,Higher thoughts...

I've been listening to Joni Eareckson Tada's book "A place of healing" again which I highly recommend. She speaks of many people who pray for her to be healed and believe she should be healed if she only has enough faith. She tears through these conceptions using God's Word and examples of Jesus healing. For example, Jesus healed many people, but there were many more that he didn't heal. Those he did heal weren't guaranteed lifelong health They died later. What I value most from this reading is her candid revelation of her own suffering and how she deals with it spiritually. There's something about hearing another believer who also physically suffers that has more weight. It reminds me of what Paul shares via the Holy Spirit in 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. One thing she focuses on is God's promises and looking forward to her new body in heaven. She also reminds herself that without all she's been through, she couldn't have ministered to many people globally with practical needs and the Gospel. I know for myself, I felt my purpose was to share how God had revealed himself to me through this accident. I became much more fulfilled when I "delighted in the Lord" (Psalm 37:4) and replaced my will with his. It's hard to do this in the midst of the trial, particularly when you are physically suffering, but when you are given the opportunity to minister to others who are also suffering, you give God the Glory. Such is the case now with Joni and I. we experience much nerve pain from our broken spines and whatever other secondary condition occurs with it. Joni admitted having increased anxiety and fear with her increased pain and now, her new battle with cancer. I pray for her and her husband often and her ministry. It's another thing that becomes more urgent when you understand suffering. The term is compassion: to suffer with. Jesus has much compassion as he came to suffer with us. He also understood that God's will outweighs the need to be pain free (Matthew 26:39,42). Saving people from eternal damnation is more important than saving yourself from affliction. If you or others come to God after experiencing or witnessing suffering, than it is preferred. If I didn't have this accident, chances are, I still wouldn't be following Jesus. I thank God that he was merciful to save me from death and allow me to live for his Glory. I am his "living epistle" (2 Corinthians 3:3) and lead others to his living water.

VOM sent me the testimony of a Christian woman in North Korea and it was very humbling. She suffered much affliction physically and emotionally, more than I think I could endure even. But like myself, this woman is sure of how God has revealed himself to her and her purpose is to share the good news of Jesus who alone gives eternal life. Like Paul, she is firmly convinced of what God has for her through her faith (2 Timothy 1:12).

At first after reading Sister Yang's story, I was just heart broken and thought it was incredibly unfair for God to let this continue. But even Joseph understood that his tribulation through prison and slavery, allowed him to provide for his family in famine and multiply the children of Israel. It is seeking God and his word that gives me comfort through this fallen planet. Please pray for sister Yang and our brethren abroad who suffer greatly for their faith. We have it very good in this country that we can freely worship Jesus. Don't waste time not sharing his love and prayers with people, especially the body of Christ.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

In light of eternity

Ever since my accident, I've realized that nothing matters in light of eternity. As a healthy, able bodied adult, I trusted in the prospects of a lifetime of a healthy, abled body. However, I learned that would not be the case for myself and many other people. On that roof, I also understood that no one could help me but God. Although life as a quadriplegic is very challenging, I must say suffering has brought me closer to God and more sympathetic to others who are suffering. It's hard to look forward to eternity when you are living comfortably here. But don't be mistaken--nothing here lasts--not our bodies, wealth, or possessions. We are all accountable to God, whether we like it or not. We will all stand before him alone, witnessing his absolute truth, Glory, Holiness, and Righteous judgement. How do I know this? Folks, we didn't just spontaneously evolve here. A single cell is too complicated to have assembled itself in a primordial goo. The universe was created along with time and space and and it was created by an all-powerful, non-material, intelligent being that transends time and space. That being, God, has revealed himself in the Bble, an incredibly harmonious set of books written over a period of 1500 years, by 40 differnt authors in 3 languages. There is no other book in history that is as well documented with accurate manuscripts.

My problem as of late, has been this constant struggle in this condition. I've been in and out of the hospital and anxiety ridden. Problems with my trach have resurfaced and it's exhausting to maintain. A brother in the Lord is suffering with terminal cancer. A fellow quad has been in the hospital again, on life support. I'm not afraid of dying. I know where I'm going. It's between life and death that is most troubling. I've been there a few times and it is the most mind bending and painfully slow process (sometimes). Jesus willingly went to the cross, but he sweat blood in anxiety over it! This gives me more comfort than people telling me "be anxious for nothing but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving make your requests known to God." (Philipians 4:6) It's eassy to tell someone not to be anxious. What I love about my savior is that he truly understands. He became human to suffer the way we suffer. Not to just sit in the heavens and wag his finger at us. He knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead but he still wept. He could have teleported to Jacob's well but instead he walked 25 miles to meet the samaritan woman.

I find myself thinking like Job sometimes: why couldn't I not have been born or born still? Then I would be asleep in peace." But he chose me, even before the foundation of the world, that I should live for his Glory and s share eternity with him (Ephesians 1:4). Compared with eternity, our lives are truly a vapor here. What has helped me endure is knowing that through my life, God is using me. I'll never know how much this side of eternity, but I want to be faithful with my talents (Matthew 25:14-30).

What are you doing with the talents God gave you for his Glory? How are you spending eternity? Eternity with God comes only through faith in Jesus Christ. Let him be your Lord and Savior, better things awaits!

This is a sermon from Calvary Chapel of Agape in John 12. Pastor Richard speaks of what's really important in life:

Saturday, September 24, 2011

God, Sin and children: what's the truth?

I'm incredibly saddened by much abuse going on towards children. 2 subjects in particular, one the tragic suicide of Jamie Rodemeyer, and the abuse of children at Hephzibah house in Indiana.

Jamie Rodemyer took his own life because he felt tortured over bullying. He was an adorable kid who did not get to know God's love for him, regardless of his sexuality. I experienced misguided fundamentalist hatred as a lesbian. I went to the million march on Washington for LGBT rights in 2000 and was met with signs that said "God hates fags" and "AIDS cures fags." it was astonishing. I've never heard that God hates homosexuals, but it reinforced my aversion to Christianity. How could God hate me for being me? If he hates homosexuals then why do gays exist? From a previous post, I explained that since the fall of humanity, we've had a propensity for all types of ills, and sexual immorality in all it's forms tops the list.

How do we know if something is wrong?
We know something is wrong because God is the moral giver who has written morality on our hearts. How do we know that murder for no reason is wrong? I have thought about killing people who, to me, deserve to die. Does that mean I should do it? No. Why not? Because we understand the inherent value of individual life. It is a God given law that is recognized in every nation and peoples.

God's Law Vs. God's Grace
God sets the standard for what is right and just. He gave us his Law to show us his standard. However, God also knows we can't flawlessly keep his law anymore than we can stay within speed limits. We are fallen. fallible. Imperfect. Within his law, he shows us that it is his power, that saves us. We have a choice to trust and follow him or disobey him and face destruction. Three events highlight this truth: God's deliverance of Noah from the flood, God's deliverance of Lot and his family from Sodom, and God's deliverance of male firstborns out of Egypt. In all these instances, Deliverance came from a) God's gift of salvation and b) a measure of active faith. God told Noah that if he built an ark, him and his family would be saved from a flood. Noah had to believe God despite the absurd notion of a flood, and actually build an ark. Angels came to save Lot and his family from the destruction of Sodom. They were told to flee and don't turn back. God told Moses that he would save the firstborn males of those who put the blood of an unblemished male lamb on their door posts. They had to believe God and actively carry it out. God deemed sleeping with certain relatives, animals and same sex as an abomination (leviticus 18:22-23).

what does Jesus say about sexual immorality?
Jesus did not speak of homosexuality specifically, but he did speak on adultery which is equally abominable. In John Chapter 8, the religious Jews present Jesus with an adulteress to try and entrap him with the law of Moses. They say, "Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?" Jesus answered "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." When all her accusers left out of guilt from their own sin, Jesus turned to the woman to ask who was there to condemn her. "No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, "neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." John 8:5-11. He doesn't condone her actions, but he didn't damn her to hell. I don't think he would do that with someone gay either.

Jesus ministered to those that were considered the worst of people: lepers, lunatics, tax collectors, women and Gentiles. The first person he revealed himself to besides his disciples was a Gentile woman (John 4). He walked about 25 miles to meet her at a well and offer her the never ending supply of living water that is eternal life. She's there now, singing his praises.

I don't know where Jamey is now. God knows every one's heart and whether they are aware enough to be spiritually accountable. But he is living in eternity where he cannot decide to turn to God.

The controversy of Hephzibah house is especially disturbing because they taint the word of God. They twist the Bible to justify their abusive behavior.

Spare the rod, spoil the child
This phrase is not in the Bible, nor is it biblical teaching on how to discipline children. Here's a great article explaining where the phrase comes from. I am angry that people have used this as justification and in the name of "Godly discipline." It is plain wrong and I hope these people are punished to the fullest extent of the law. If they do not repent, they will also face God and endure eternal damnation. Jesus said whoever hurts a child for coming to him should drown in the sea! (Matthew 18:6. Mark 9:42, Luke 17:2)

What does God say about disciplining children?
God explains that it is good to discipline children to correct them, but not to beat them. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4. And "Fathers, provoke not your children [to anger], lest they be discouraged." (Collosians 3:21). See the above link to look at allegorical verses.

bullying, harrassing, beating, or torturing children is a blatant sign of immorality and spiritual wickedness. No one is immune from these ills as we are all fallen people. I pray more people come to the saving faith of Jesus Christ who makes us a new creation (Galatians 6:15; Ephesians 4:21-25).

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Goodness like a fetter

It's beem a while since I've written, just me and my thoughts. I've been bored, antsy, amped. The Lord knows all my ways, my thoughts and needs. He and the Spirit (The living word of God and His Spirit that dwells in me) has been speaking loudly and yet I still struggle. For one thing, I've become less critical in my thoughts towards others because of my own conviction! Regardless of my feelings, there is no one that can love me better than Jesus, that can make my heart swell with utter gratitude. I know that in essence, nothing matters but the word of the Lord and that now, just as in my most painful days, I must stay fettered to it. I am so thankful that the saving power of Jesus has no expiration, knows no bounds. Jesus and the power of his resurrection remains my central hope. I see how his word has been fulfilled in real time, and that the wisdom of this world is pure foolishness. From the decree to rebuild Jerusalm on the first of Nisan in 445 BC, it has taken exactly 173,880 days of the Hebrew calendar for Jesus the Messiah to enter Jerusalem as King on the 10th of Nisan 32 AD. For a more detailed explanation of that calculation, this is a great article. Daniel's prophecy is precise and again, speaks of the divine inspiration of the scriptures. Knowing this, I await my Messiah's return before the last 70th week or 7 years. Israel is centered in the news again, a burdensome stone for all nations. It's even marking American politics as the president and 2012 candidates are fighting to secure the "Jewish vote." Whatever plays out among men, the Lord's word will be accomplished at an appointed time.

Speaking of appointed times, I am celebrating my first Rosh hashanah or feast of trumpets next week. I've realized that these feasts or appointed times are also prophetic and speak of God's kingdom on the horizon. I'm excited to celebrate with Jewish believers and look toward the "trump" of God.

I'm also excited to travel more now that I'm stronger. I'm starting to feel incredibly limited in terms of where and when I can travel on accessaride. If the Lord tarries, I plan on driving again. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I'm grateful my health has stabilized enough that I can actually look forward to life again. Just how long can I go without an ailment from my condition??

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Transhumanist culture and what it means for us

What is transhumanism and why should people be aware of it? Transhumanism is the idea that humans can transcend their limitations such as mortality, perception, or identity. This idea has already proliferated our culture via movies like the Matrix, the Borne identity, 2001: Space odyssey, Bladerunner and Bicentennial man, just to name a few. Most notable TV shows are star trek and the bionic woman. The music industry is the latest to push these concepts through videos and lyrics. The Internet has effected the nature of our relationships and how we identify ourselves. Information has become accessible at a staggering rate. Organizations are centered on transhumanism and support the development of technologies that push human capacities. The World Transhumanist Association or H+, states in it's constitution:

"The goal of the World Transhumanist Association is to support discussion and public awareness of emerging technologies, to defend the right of individuals in free and democratic societies to adopt technologies that expand human capacities..."

From their philosophy page, Max More describes Transhumanism as..." a class of philosophies of life that seek the continuation and acceleration of the evolution of intelligent life beyond its currently human form and human limitations by means of science and technology, guided by life-promoting principles and values.”

H+ publishes a magazine teeming with biotech companies that are ushering in the age of "post-humanism" where one can be forever youthful, vigorous, and have an unlimited ability for information and mind controlled programs. In essence, H+ promotes the merging of humans and machines. In the video game trailer for Deux Ex: the human revolution, the "H+" logo appears at the end, signifying it's endorsement although it's not necessary. The game is set in 2027, where city riots abound and transhumanism is the norm. The player is "uploaded" to a post-human cyborg and fights against a government gone martial.

Why is this especially important to Christians and how does this fit into biblical eschatology? Transhumanism attempts to push God out of the picture, as creator and as moral law giver. It is another way for Satan to taint the human race and lure us into spiritual darkness. A new twist on his first lie: "Did God say that?...For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:5). It was this ambition that caused Satan to fall when he aspired to be like God (Isaiah 14:12-15).

The idea of mingling humans with other beings is not new. Satan and his fallen angels have been trying to further corrupt God's creation and draw people away from the salvation of God. In Genesis 6, fallen angels have mixed with human females to create hybrids called "Nephillim" or in the Hebrew, "fallen Ones." They populated into groups like the amalekites, repharim, groups that were known for being large and powerful in stature. The Israelites came up against these hybrid Giants while obtaining the land of Caanan:

"And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, [is] a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it [are] men of a great stature. And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, [which come] of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight." (Numbers 13:32)

Israel began to grumble against Moses and the Lord replied: "How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?" (Numbers 14:11)

The Lord told Saul, Israel's first king, to slay the Amalekites, a giant population: "Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass." Why would the Lord order the genocide of the Amalekites including livestock? Is it because they were a hybrid human? Saul did not obey the Lord, saving their livestock to sacrifice and the King of the Amalekites. (1 Samuel 15) Because of Saul's disobedience, he lost his kingship.

One of the most famous giants in the Bible by far is the Philistine, Goliath (1 Samuel 17). David defeated him with a small stone. It wasn't David's strength that slew him, but the power of the Lord.

Another one of these men was the famous Nimrod, who began building the tower of Babel. Why was he building that tower? To reach the heavens!This did not catch God off guard. He's presented us with his word, so we know what happened then and we know what's happening now. God said: "Behold, the people [is] one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do." This sounds like today! What we continuously fail to understand is that God is still in control and he has made a way out. The Bible is not a book of fairy tales. It speaks of the frailties and faults of humans, against a Holy, all powerful, sovereign God. Being love and light, God wants us to choose him. But like in the time of Noah, he will judge the Earth. His final judgement will usher an eternal kingdom where believers will have resurrected bodies in heaven and those who have rejected God, will spend eternity in torment. God wants to set apart his people from the corruption of this world (Psalm 4:3). Does this mean very tall people are Nephillim that need to be destroyed? No. We are called into a new covenant in which Jesus has judged the prince of this world (the devil) and made a way for people to be reconciled with God (John 12:31).

In the days of Noah

God judged humanity by a massive flood, saving Noah, his family and two of every animal (click here to see geologic evidences for the flood). It was during this time that fallen angels mixed with humans and "the wickedness of man [was] great in the earth, and [that] every imagination of the thoughts of his heart [was] only evil continually." Genesis 6:5 Noah, however, found grace in the sight of the Lord (verse 7). Jesus said it would be the same in his final judgement when he said, "And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all." Luke 17:26-27 Grace is unmerited favor, getting something one does not earn. It is this same grace that can save us from the wrath to come. "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9.

Daniel the prophet spoke regarding the mixing humans and non-humans as well. Nebuchadnezzar, one of the kings of Babylon had a vision which Daniel interpreted. In his vision, he saw multiple kingdoms or empires represented by gold, silver, brass and iron on a large statue. The toes of this statue was partly iron, partly clay: "And [as] the toes of the feet [were] part of iron, and part of clay, [so] the kingdom shall be partly strong, and partly broken. And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay. And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, [but] it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever." Daniel 2:3-5 This is a heavy prophecy! Daniel is shown the end times and the nature of future kingdoms. The last kingdom before God establishes his eternal kingdom will be a mixing of humans which will not mix well. We are spiritual beings created in God's likeness. To tamper with our nature as such is playing God and we will not win. Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom because God knows best. Seeking the Lord in spirit and in truth leads to sanctification of the Holy Spirit. If we seek after other mediums for sensual spiritualism, we make them idols. Another one of Satan's lies is that there are aliens from other planets abducting people. Meanwhile, elite powers have been abducting people for years for mind-control/programming.

In the letter to the Romans, the apostle Paul underscores this sanctification:

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think [of himself] more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith." Romans 12:1-3

God has blessed us with individual personalities and talents. Paul exhorts the believers in Rome to keep their minds from being tampered with and serve the Lord with what they've been given. Throughout the New Testament, the apostles make a distinction between "the world" and "the brethren." What is this difference?

God and Mammon

Jesus tells a parable of the Rich man and the unjust steward. The steward is being fired for his poor money managing or usury and falsely lowers the debt of the rich man's debtors to gain favor from them. The Rich man tells of the steward's demise: ""Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own? No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Luke 16:10-14. Mammon was a term used in the Bible to describe greed or excessive materialism.

The World

In Matthew 13:22, Jesus gives a parable in which he described the "cares of this world" choking the growing plant, representing a person growing in faith.

This world Vs. The next world

Jesus speaks of "this world" as the physical realm in which humans now reside. The "next world" is an eternal world where those welcomed into the kingdom of God have resurrected bodies: "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." John 12:25

"And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection." Luke 20:34-36

"And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world." John 8:23

"Now is the judgment of this world: now shall the prince of this world be cast out." John 12:31

Who is the Prince of this world?

Paul describes this "prince" in his letter to the Ephesians:

"And you [hath he quickened], who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others." Ephesians 2:2-3

Drugs as a conduit to other realms

The use of psychotropic drugs to tap into different perceptions or states of conscienceness is nothing new either. Ancient peoples have used plants, mushrooms, and even poisons from animals to have "spiritual" experiences. Other drugs allow the user to become astutely focused and responsive to stimuli. In the movie "Limitless," An unproductive writer gets offered a new drug that taps into unused portion of the brain. He finishes a book in four days and draws up random information to solve complex problems. Some drugs have been used in psychiatric settings to unearth past experiences or erase old habits. The latest of these is the drug DMT or dimethyltryptamine. Used in South America, DMT is naturally found in many plants, coupled with a MAOI (Monoamine Oxidases) to become orally active. It is found naturally in the pineal gland in the brain. Like many other psychedelic drugs, DMT produces intense visual and sensory over stimulation. People experience "shifts in perception" whether it be time, emotion, or world view.

Dr. David E. Nichols, who serves on the Neuropharmacology and Neurochemistry study section says the only thing slowing the research of how psychedelic drugs produce different emotions is "social perception" of tampering with people's natural state of mind. As I have shown previously, that is changing with the rapid saturation of transhumanist ideals in our culture. Psychiatrist, Rick Strassman, associate professor of psychiatry in University of New Mexico has done extensive research on the drug and has administered it. In his book, "The spirit molecule," Strassman writes about his findings about the drug, how it is produced and interviews of volunteer guinea pigs.

Drugs that are meant to produce certain emotions or invoke experiences are dangerous especially when coupled with the culture of transhumanism. We are already being indoctrinated to accept these technologies that will alter human nature. I'm just scratching the surface of what's already here and on the horizon. Symbols and catch phrases invoke ideas through movies and music and carry with them, a spiritual significance.

"Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, [saying], Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision." Psalm 2:1-4

"Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness." 1 Corinthians 3:18-19

"But (we) have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them." 2 Corinthians 4:2-4 (parentheses mine).

Important questions to ask yourself: which camp do I belong to? Am I of the world or do I belong to God who has reserved eternal glory for me? Is it coincidence that most mediums are displaying the same symbolism and themes? How am I buying into these ideals in my own life? If you do not know Jesus as your Messiah and savior, pray and ask him to forgive you. Salvation is a free gift! Get a bible and read about the nature of God. Go to a bible teaching church. God will begin to open doors in your life!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

what is so hard?

...that Beth Abraham social workers can't make simple phone call? Research avenues to increase the quality of resident's lives? There are many young people here besides myself and our lives are not over. Besides occasional trips and movies shown, there's not much to stimulate us. Thankfully, I have a computer to communicate, create and interact with the world. I can listen to whatever music I want and read ebooks. Beth Abraham houses a renowned music therapy department, with the latest mac computers and tons of instruments. However, they have not utilized these tools to make music and audiobooks accessible to the youth population here. I've been working with a blind resident who is seeking more services for the blind. Services like braille training and assistive technology. Unfortunately, because he's in this wonderful institution, he cannot benefit from extensive services like braille training and vocational training. I sat with him and his social worker, and gave him another agency to possibly work with, and brainstorm ways to improve his life while he's here. The social worker said everything to discourage any pursuit of this! He said unfortunately there was nothing he could do as he is here and services would be limited. I suggested that he request a speech to text program from IT so the resident could communicate and express himself. Why hasn't audiobooks been made accessible to him? If he made some goals, would the SW be willing to try other avenues to achieve them? SW was very evasive. Here was the icing on the cake: I asked since he needs to be in the community to receive full services from a blindness program, has he begun the process of looking for an apartment? SW answered that he did not want to give the resident "false hope" and that he had to respect his family's wishes as to where the resident should live. The resident is a grown man and able to make his own decisions. It angered me that as usual, residents here are not encouraged to broaden their horizons but just languish here for the rest of their lives. I will continue to advocate and seek out ways to help others here as long as God gives me strength and wisdom.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

What does God think? A biblical perspective on gay marriage

In making the right decision concerning the laws of marriage or any law, instead of asking what an individual what he/she thinks, we must ask, what does God think? Many people don't consider this because they don't believe in God, or make their own conception of God based on what they think is fair. I was one of these people. The human faults in my life, having nothing to do with God, distorted my view of Him. Abuse, divorced parents, and me having feelings for women. I reasoned that because men were wicked, why should I believe in a male God? Although I accepted Jesus in my heart at eight years old, experienced His redemption, I walked away from my relationship with Him. I still talked Him, pleaded why my family was broken, but I continued to live life how I saw fit. It was on the day of my accident, I called out to Him. Rebuilding my life as a quadriplegic was not easy. But I understood that God saved me and had a plan for my life. He restored my family. I no longer felt lonely. I searched the Bible for a confirmation. I found that human mistakes were due to man's inherited sin nature from Adam. Instead of relying on God's promise for a child, Abraham and Sarah decided to have a child with Hagar, the Egyptian handmaid (Genesis 16:1-2). As a result, Abraham had to put out his child, Ishmael. He was grieved over it, but God told him he would have a child with Sarah. This promised child is the one in which God would have His covenant with (Genesis 17:19, 21). When Abraham made his mistakes, God did not beat him over the head about them. Instead, Abraham had free will to make them. This is the way it is with all of us. We are faulty, but God is faithful to keep His promises, no matter what.

How do we know that the Bible is true? Is it an accurate copy of what was originally written? Do we have reason to believe what they wrote actually happened? As an overview, the Bible consists of 66 books written over 1500 years in 3 different languages by over 40 authors and yet it fits together as one story. It speaks of the fall of humanity and God's plan of redemption through the nation, Israel. There, a messiah would be born to bear our iniquities (Isaiah 53:4-5). Old testament prophecies show that this messiah would be 1) Born of a virgin (Isaiah 7:14) 2) Born in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2), Of the line of David (1 Chronicles 17:11-12), a prophet like Moses (Deuteronomy 18:18), killed for others (Daniel 9:26), raised from the dead (Psalm 16:10). Jesus fulfills all these prophecies and more. There are at least 24,000 manuscript copies of the New Testament that attest to its accuracy. Most scholars agree that the N.T. was completed around 80 A.D. This was 20-30 years after the death and resurrection of Jesus. Again, this contributes to the accuracy of the text, in that the people most closely associated with Jesus wrote these accounts soon after events happened.

The conclusion is that Jesus is who he claimed to be and he truly was crucified and rose from the dead. This is the main creed spoken of in 1 Corinthians 15. When faced with this historical reality, one must come to the realization that we are accountable to God. God is Holy, just, and He gives us His moral law. Wether we like it or not, God says sleeping around is wrong. He says men sleeping with men and women sleeping with women is wrong (Gen 18:20-21; 19:1-13; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Romans 1:26-27; Leviticus 18:22). Our morality indicates a moral law giver. Once we realize this, then we understand that there is a divine plan for our lives and it lies in the truth of the Bible. Richard Wurmbrand says it excellently in his book, "In God's underground,"

"We must also teach that sex is a gift that God gives mankind. We must tell the whole truth to free it from obscenity. There is divinity here. The union of man and woman as one flesh is a picture of the intimacy between Christ and the Church." (wurmbrand, pg. 120)

I didn't want to face this at first. I liked my gay life just the way it was. I was good at it, it was an integral part of my identity. How was I to change? Eventually, I gave it to the Lord, I told him to take it from me and change me. He showed me that He would sustain me through this circumstance. Everyone has temptations. But God promises us that we can combat these with the word of God (1 Corinthians 10:13) Jesus has atoned for all our sins for those who believe, and we have an advocate with the father (1 John 1:9; 1 John 2:1-2). God destroyed Sodom and Gommorah and He will judge nations again according to their sins. I've learned not to rely on my "feelings," but depend on Christ, His grace, His will.

As of now, I'm married to the Lord. I have no idea what God has in store for me but I know I want to be ready for His return. I found the ultimate treasure and it is fellowship with Christ.

Have you given your life to the Lord? If you understand that you are separated from God and want to be reconciled with him, come to Jesus. He will break those yokes and give you peace you've never known. Pray that you've sinned, and believe Jesus died for your sins. Pray that you want forgiveness and make Him your Lord and Savior of your life. Read the Bible and pray to God in your own way. (Phillipians 4:6-7). Fellowship with other believers and join a bible teaching church. I pray that you grow richly in faith and be blessed with this testimony.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Highs and Lows

Saturday, I was due to go out to birthday party but I didn't feel well that morning. I felt weak and had a bad headache that didn't go away. I had the nurse check my vitals and my pressure was very high. High blood pressure is a sign of Autonomic dysreflexia which, unattended to can lead to seizure, stroke or death. It happens usually because of bowel or bladder impediment. Since my bladder was draining fine, I concluded that my bowels were impacted. I also felt nauseous which is a sign of impaction. I took a slew of stool softeners and utilized digital stimulation to move things along. It worked and I initially felt relieved but then my pressure went from extrememly high to extremely low. This has never happened before so I was very concerned. I was also still nauseous and sweating profusely. I told my father I thought it best to go to the hospital. I knew they would give me fluids and work quickly to find the problem. Beth Abraham on the other hand, doesn't know how to deal with SCI concerns and I'm frustrated with their ignorance on this front when they have many people with spinal cord injury. An ambulance quickly came and asked me what I was feeling. They knew I had very low pressure and concluded I needed fluids. They quickly set up an I.V. in the van and I began to feel better. I only stayed for a few hours which is mamzing for being in the ER! The longest part was waiting for my ride back.

I felt okay to go to church the next day and after getting in the chair, eating breakfast and getting to church, I had another bout of really low pressure! So low, I could barely see anything! I told my father to tip my chair back and it worked a little but after passing out in church, I knew it was time to go. I pray this will stabilize and I'll be able to go out more frequently with less trouble! Keep this in prayer as I continue to heal and see what the Lord has in my life.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Post Op

I got back to Beth Abraham on thhursday, after 8 long days post-op Mitrofanoff procedure. I had an NG tube in for four days which was very difficult. It had to be reinserted 3-4 times because it was dislodged. Succtioning was very uncomfortable with the NG tube. I struggled to hold the tube in place, trying not to gag it out. I couldn't speak because they changed my trach to a shiley. Amazingly, it wasn't that hard for people to understand me. I annunciate well and most times, people were attentive.

I have mixed feelings about nursing care. I went to a "step-down" unit located in 8 Center Guggenheim Pavilion, where the staff seemed to complain about patients if they called too much. That included me, since I needed succtioning and turning. I made a complaint to the adminstrator. My father spoke with my neighbor and confirmed the complaints.

I was very weak after surgery and laying on a pegasus bed made me less mobile. Everrything was uncomfortable after a few days! I was also off from all of my meds, so I went through serious withdrawal. I hallucinated scenarios and at points was convinced that I needed to escape and my family was struggling to "free me." I disconnected my I.V. lines and refused to be scanned until I saw my parents. I had to seriously focus on the Lord then to get over my state of mind and discomfort. Needless to say, this is a very difficult surgery to get through!! By the last day, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I wanted my hair washed and to get in my chair. I tried yesterday, but it was too soon. Now I am practicing sitting up, eating better and stretching out my arms/hands. In two weeks, I'll go back to Dr. Vapnek to take out the stiches and utilize the stoma for the first time!

So far, everything is a success. My new T-tube, however, I'm not fond of. It seems smaller than before, and it is very difficult to get secretions up. So far, I cannot uncap myself, and succtioning is more of a serious matter. Please pray for conntinued healing in this area.

It is easier tto eat. I no longer have that volcanoe feeling in my bowels. This should get even better with time. I'm looking forward to gaining weight and exercising again. I depend heavily on God's grace every day; for comfort, peace, healing, strength. I'm not brave at all. I cling to God's word for hope that he will deliver and he has been faithful.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Girding the Mind

Tomorrow I have surgery and I seem to be pretty calm about it. I've been on a liquid diet for two days and gearing up for my colonoscopy tomorrow. I have to drink up to a gallon of "GoLytly"-a liquid that flushes the system so they can look into my colon.

The reason why they're doing the colonoscopy is because my intestines have been severely irritated for over a month now and no one knows why. I haven't been able to eat normally or go normally. I had to change my bowel routine to exclude enemas and bowel irritants. It's very hard for someone who is paralyzed to "go" without some laxatives and digital stimulation! Needless to say, I've been struggling with with a lot physically. I have a lot of nerve pain, constipation, and irritable bowels. I hope they can continue the surgery as planned without any major complications. I'm relying on the Great Physician to get me through.

I've been listening to The Comforts: a CD for those who are hurting. The music is wonderful and soothing and the scripture from Joe focht is on point!

Thank you for your prayers and I'll see you soon.



Friday, March 4, 2011

My Testimony

I wanted to rewrite this because I want to properly honor my parents while giving glory to God. Many people share my experience and walk away from God because they feel "God's not fair." At times it feels that way! But I submit to you that He is just, gracious and merciful.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight Oh Lord my strength and my redeemer.-Psalm 19:14

I grew up in the Bronx in the 80's, and my parents strove to keep me safe. They dedicated my brother and I to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel:

And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. 1 Samuel 1:11

The point was to raise the child in the ways of the Lord. We are now under the covenant of grace through Jesus Christ, where we do not have to keep dietary or any other law to be considered righteous. We are covered by the righteousness of Jesus.

My parents were young and were not perfect. They made some sore mistakes that lasted years. But I was blessed they raised us with values that kept us off the streets. My parents did not stay together and my broken home broke my faith. we stayed with my mother and that became difficult after awhile. I became depressed and did not get along with my brother and mother. I went upstate for college and was sure I would never come back after much hurt. How could God let this happen? I walked my own way and led a gay lifestyle. I did things I would never do. All the while, I petitioned for God to answer me why there was so much hurt in the world continually. Where was His justice? Little did I know He was holding his wrath from me, maybe the person reading this now...I did not graduate college by one semester and my mother was not pleased. I flailed from job to job until 2007 when I had a work accident falling from a roof. While I was slipping I thought, "Lord take me!" After years of not walking with God, I put ultimate faith in Him because He was all there was! I didn't want to remember the fall or impact and he was merciful for that. I woke up in ICU, in the throes of being intubated, between life and death. Lord only knows how I had the guts to fight. Every night, I asked God to let me live one more day to see my mother. It was the most difficult time of my life to date. There were moments I thought I would die. But God had me live to share my story and glorify his name.

After 18 years of not seeing my father, The Lord brought him back into my life. God molded him into a patient, Godly man yielding the fruits of the spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) After a month in ICU, I was weened from the vent and went to rehab at Mount Sinai in NYC. While recovering some function, I sought the Lord again, knowing he saved me from physical death and quite possibly, spiritual death. Because of the life I was living, I was at enmity with God (2 Peter 2:20-22). His word clearly says those who practice homosexuality will not enter the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:26-27; Lev. 18:22; Gen. 19:1-13) Homosexuality occurs because of a brokenness in the world, a break in God's initial perfect will. When Adam and Eve disobeyed it was all down hill! We only "feel" it's natural because we go by lusts! however, when I sought the Lord Jesus to change me on this, He did! My father has been single for many years. But he is not alone! He has Jesus and if He wills, a Godly woman will come into his life. Jesus spoke to me then and said just to trust him. "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."

Since, I have felt more spiritually content and not lonely. I would be happy and honored to have a Godly man in my life as he has shaped me into a Godly woman. But I''m married to the Lord first and am happy to serve him until He takes me home or raptures his church at the last trump. (1 Cor. 15:51-53; 1 thess. 4:13-18)

If you do not know the peace of God in your life, I would suggest searching the scriptures. They are backed by many manuscripts, textual criticism, extra-biblical sources and archeological evidence. Our faith is based on facts, not fairy tales. Today is the day of salvation. Do not let pride or disobedience hold you.

Pray to Jesus for forgiveness and that you want him to be Lord and Savior of your life. Find a bible teaching church and study his word. Share what God has done in your life!!!

A great site to answer your questions is gotquestions.org

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

True Salvation: Making Jesus Lord of your life!

What makes a true Christian or genuine salvation? Whether people believe in God or not, when the time comes, they hope to go to heaven because they were a "good person." But even Christians, especially in western countries, become comfortable after accepting Jesus as savior that they don't recognize him as LORD.

I have a roommate that *loves* Jesus. She will watch "lift every voice" on BET or Joel Osteen on Sunday. The rest of her week she dedicates her time, and I mean d-e-d-i-c-a-t-e-s her time to watching shows like Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos show and anything drama related. Something is amiss here:

Psalm 1
Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
4Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

I have purged myself from various shows for this reason. I think the only show I enjoy watching that isn't filled with sexual innuendos, God mocking and violence is "The Office." However, I sojourn my time with a holy fear, the spirit tells me to work and serve the poor and needy. What will happen to my roommate when she meets Yeshua face to face when she has not let go of her worldly ways?

Jesus clearly sets the stage for who is and who isn't a real follower in John Chapter 13: "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: 'He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.'

Another important aspect in being a disciple is love. In John 13:34-35 Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Paul understood this importance when he wrote the 13th Chapter of 1 Corinthians: "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." This is tough! Many people are what I call "unloveable." Sometimes I am! I can be irritable from pain and frustration of being in this body. True love, agape love, is a selfless love that comes from the spirit. I'm learning this slowly as I pray more to be filled with the spirit daily. This is necessary to grow in grace and love people the way the Lord loved us:

"But as you abound in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all diligence, and in your love for us—see that you abound in this grace also. I speak not by commandment, but I am testing the sincerity of your love by the diligence of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich." 2Corinthians 8:7-9

Love is the chief fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self‑control. Against such things there is no law."

Back in the Gospel of John, Jesus explains the parable of the true vine: "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?" Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

That's serious and concerning. There are many "good" people out there that do not believe in God, or that believe they will get favor with him because they are good people. Maybe they go to church once in a while. But believing and obeying God's word are very important to salvation. David says in the Psalms, "I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name." James also says to be doers of the word, not just hearers (James 1:21-24).

The Lord has set an example for a reason. He came to be a servant because he wants us to serve. It's a hard pill for us to swallow but there's many cases where Christ wants us to turn down the "me" and up somebody else whether that be our neighbors or even our enemies! "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."Luke 6:27-28

Follow Jesus before Friends, family, possesions, even your own life. No one understands this better than the persecuted church!

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matt 19:23-29

This is what Jesus meant when he said, "I came not to bring peace but a sword." Families are divided for belief in Jesus and you need to be ready to choose. It's not always easy, but in light of eternal life and everlasting peace, the choice is clear. Jesus offers these and more.

Work for the Kingdom of God? Believe it or not, salvation is not just about Believing on the name of Jesus and then going on your merry way. Jesus said "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62

This is referring to the man who wanted to say goodbye to his house before following Jesus. Following Jesus is so important, you can drop something at any notice if it calls for it. This is the living God in bodily form asking you to follow him! Many people will be like " yeah, yeah I'm all about Jesus," but will be quickly distracted by other things. Jesus being Lord of your life means top priority. You work as if you serve Him, love as if it were Him and constantly strive to be more like Him.

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness— by whose stripes you were healed." 1 Peter 2:21-24

This is not easy! We are not expected to do things perfect like Jesus, but to strive to conform to his image (2 Peter 1:5-10; Philipians 3:13-16)

Finally, if you do not know by now, we are living in the end times. Unnatural storms, earthquakes undetected and unprecedented wars prophesied from the Bible are right on target. Some to note are Luke 21:25-26; Isaiah 19:2, Matthew 24:5-12, Zechariah 12:2. Prevalent in the Christian church are "lukewarm" people--those who aren't fully committed to Christ (Read Revelations 3). They call themselves Christians, they believe in Jesus, heck, they may even go to church, but they have not let go of world ideas. These include music, movies, politics, lifestyles and relationships that are contrary to the Word of God. Again, this is not easy from experience, but when faced with the Creator of Heaven and Earth, who are you going to follow? All flesh is as grass but the word of the Lord stands forever. (Isaiah 40:8) It is then that our spirit will spend eternity somewhere. Will you be with God? Or will you be condemned in hell forever?

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; "that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He [is] your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them." --Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Encouraging Scriptures for those who suffer

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Prov. 3:5-6

My surgery was postponed due to trach complication! The only way to have the surgery is to take out the trach, put in a shiley trach during the surgery, and then the next day, have the t-tube put back in! It sounds incredibly risky but I'm trusting the Lord, not my understanding.

I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

All I know is that I love the Lord with all my heart and I am forever grateful for His mercy saving my life and showing me His Truth through the sacrifice of his son Jesus. His Spirit has pressed upon me to share my story, that God has been gracious and merciful. Regardless of anything in my life, God has been faithful. On the day I broke my neck, I seriously called out to God and trusted him with my life. Nothing else mattered. Since then I've learned to depend on him and hear his voice through his word.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1-

"And our hope of you [is] stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so [shall ye be] also of the consolation."

"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

"Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver [us];

"Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift [bestowed] upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf." 2 cor. 1:7-11

Many people have prayed for me and continue to pray for me. I'm not crazy about the surgeon working on my t-tube. But I have the Great Physician on my side and he's going to make things happen! I cannot be plucked from his hand! (John 10:27-30)

"Blessed [is] he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; [and] he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. The LORD will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness." Ps. 41:1-3

The Lord answered my prayer with this Psalm as I prayed about anxiety over my pain, over the surgery decision. In the interim, I fight off urinary infections and it's extremely painful. It's not sensational pain, but a searing nerve pain that's difficult to tame. Sometimes all I can do is pray and eat God's words, cling to his promise that this suffering is nothing in comparison to the Glory that will be revealed in the last time (Romans 8:18). I imagine those who are in prison for sharing the Gospel in many other countries where it is "illegal." People are tortured, maimed and killed. When my pain is at it's height, I shake. "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20) I also pray for Joni Eareckson Tada, who suffers from excruciating pain. Her testimony has been a blessing to me in my journey, particularly her latest battle with pain and her drive to work for the Lord! Listen as she reads in "A Place of Healing."

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, [and] from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth [shall be thy] shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; [nor] for the arrow [that] flieth by day; [Nor] for the pestilence [that] walketh in darkness; [nor] for the destruction [that] wasteth at noonday..." Ps.91:1-6

This Psalm has been very strengthening and encouraging as I go through many physical trials in and out of the hospital. I have a CD called no storm too Great! that prays focusing on this Psalm. I highly recommend it for people who need calming meditation on God's Word!

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." (Eph. 6:18-20)

Thank you for your prayers. Continue to pray for this upcoming surgery that should be in early-mid March. Pray that all goes smoothly with my tracheostomy and my bladder surgery and I recover well. I want to be strong and back in my chair!


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Word of the Lord stands forever

Everything is falling into place according to the scriptures. For us in Christ, it doesn't happen fast enough, but it is happening. In light of what's happening in Egypt is just another testament to God's fulfillment to His Word in Isaiah 19

It is clear that Egypt has been unhappy with their leadership because of his alliance with the U.S. and Israel. They are very vocal with English media about it. They are also vocal of what they want to do once they are free: Destroy Israel. Since the very beginning of Satan's fall from heaven, his goal has been to take as many of God's creations with him to Hell as possible, especially, God's chosen people Israel. The messiah was prophesied in Bethlehem, King Herod had all males killed born the same time as Jesus was (Matthew 2:16) Mosab Hassan Yousef, son of a prominent Hamas leader in Ramalah, said it well when he said,

"Generation after generation dreams the same dream: drive out the Israelis, kill the Israelis, destroy Israel. We cannot see beyond our borders because we are blinded by our pain and hatred." Later he says, "When will we begin fighting with our brains instead of our bombs? With reason instead of retaliation? Even a two-year-old child can destroy. Only men and women of wisdom, vision and courage can build a nation."

Read his whole Blog entry "What do we want" here.

Islamists here in America are not much different. Just listen to their speech. The groups Revolution Muslim and Islamic Thinkers Society are home grown and ready to commit their lives to JIHAD. And yet, our country is still so delusional that Islam is a religion of peace that it even courts it as our first line of defense! I was shocked to see that the same man spouting hatred in Times Square was recently standing in my room, in a guise to reconcile my brother and I, but really there just to proselytize Islam. So "peaceful" for a second there, but I quickly unraveled his sheep's clothing and told him to leave.

Satan comes to kill, rob and destroy. He is a liar and the father of it! "Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son. (1 John 2:22)

Satan knows his time is almost up. That's why persecution is high. We know in Indonesia, the Ahmadiyaans are being persecuted. The Christians are also being persecuted hardcore here and need prayer. It won't be long now. Hold fast to what is good brothers and sisters! Be encouraged! 1 Peter 1:6-7 Heck, keep reading that chapter, it is a wealth of encouragement!

Fouad Massri finishes this best in the latest newsletter of crescent project:

"So, how should we pray?

We should pray that God will make the church strong, that those who are believers in Christ multiply, that they will shine for Christ in these problems, and that many Muslims will see that Christ gives true freedom. "


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Another step of faith

After being in and out of the hospital for over a week, I was given ample opportunity to trust God with my health. It hasn't been easy! I'm still suffering from much pain and bowel complications. At one point, I was sure I was going to die! I quickly put on the No storm too Great! CD and prayed for peace. I even committed my spirit to the Lord, expecting to wake in his arms. But I was still agitated. However, I had a very calm and reassuring EMT worker named Charlie with an angelic face. I was taken care of quickly and admitted to the hospital. I was glad to hear psalm 91 at the hospital. I was stabilized and treated well and thankful to have my parents with me. Even still, my heart feels overwhelmed with gratitude, with the presence of God's Holiness and righteousness besides my frailty.

A woman in her seventies came into the room with pulmonary fibrosis. She had low oxygen saturation and had to be put on a bi-pap mask. It is very hard to tolerate as it forces air into the lungs to push out any fluids. I asked her husband if she wanted to listen to the Psalms as it helped me. He said he would ask her another time as it was getting late. He went home and it was time for the aides to clean her and get her situated. She was quiet for a long time and no one came. Finally, an aide answered her bell and the woman asked to be washed. The aide snapped at her and said she had to wait. Now when you are sick and suffering, the last thing you need is someone speaking to you nastily. The act of bathing in itself is very ministerial. It's an opportunity to give compassion and comfort a person needs to adjust to the hospital. Shortly after, the nurse came in and I told him what happened. He said that was unacceptable and he would take care of it. A few minutes later, a manager came and apologized to the woman, assuring her she would get care and it was their job to provide the best care in a timely manner. When she left, I vocally praised God, lifted my hand and prayed with her! She lifted her hand as well and vocalized her troubles to the Lord. After the aide cleaned her (trying to justify her behavior all the while) I had my aide give the woman my ipod to listen to No Storm too Great!-Psalm 91. Soon after, she slept soundly.

Everyone asks me how I got paralyzed. After a while, it becomes annoying, even invasive. People take a piece of you every time, meanwhile they give nothing back. they meet you for 2 minutes, see you in your condition and just want to satisfy their curiosity, never sharing anything about themselves, a single traumatizing experience or how they are broken in some way. So I decided to stop telling people. I would say, "I really don't want to talk about it," or simply, "none of your business." But God nudged at me that my accident is a testament to his reality that can be used for his glory. I complied not knowing who would be ordained to hear my message. A quirky nurse took a while to ask and I quickly cut to the chase. "I was a do gooder installing solar panels and fell from the roof. the best thing was that I found Jesus and not only did he save my life but he gave me eternal life. I now live for his glory." She didn't even blink. "Yes and he will judge the living and the dead..." she said dryly. "Do you believe in Jesus?' I asked. "No." She she said. "I'm Jewish." "Well, have you read the Jewish scriptures?" I asked. This was the person God ordained me to witness to. I was happy I was obedient to my Lord! I grabbed my Bible. My quad hands had some trouble flipping to my first verse but Nurse Feigenbaum was genuinely interested. "I have to get to another patient but I'll be back, I'm interested if you couldn't tell by now!" she did come back and I had her read Proverbs 30:4 aloud. She said everything except 'son.' Then I had her read Isaiah 53 in it's entirety. "Interesting" she said. "Is Isaiah in the Old Testament?" Was I really hearing this? I assured her so and then pointed her to Micah 5:2, where a ruler in Israel would rise up from Bethlehem who has been from eternity. I also spoke of Isaiah 9:6 where a child would be born of a virgin and the titles given to him were divine names: father of eternity, mighty God. I was hoping she wouldn't hate me afterwards because I really grew to love this nurse! She had a fabulous sense of humor and the best curly red hair. She was compassionate, caring and never lost her cool, despite how busy it got. Luckily, things between us stayed good. She seemed happy to meet my father. I continue to pray that the Lord do a work in her heart.

I was in and out of the ER after I was discharged from severe pain and the shakes. It could only be relieved from IV fluids and initially I thought it was still from the infection being treated. But every time they found nothing wrong, not even an infection. Finally, I had one of my nurses do an enema on me just in case that was the source of the pain. Indeed it made me feel just better enough to sleep without the shakes! I haven't felt that much pain in a while. But little by little, I cleared out my system and have been well enough to be in my chair. I thank God for His faithfulness to comfort me through my parents and the body of Christ. I feel Blessed to minister to others as well.

I had a difficult moment with my case worker because I tried staying in the Hospital long enough for her to get there and advocate for me. Due to a snow storm that didn't happen, but she stressed my out over the phone with things I no longer had control over. The hospital saw fit that I could go and just when they're giving me the discharge papers, she calls and says "well are you sure? The treatment takes a while to work--" In comes my flesh and I am no longer calm! Thank God I have an advocate (1 John 1:9)

Now I am enjoying good food and getting out as much as I can before my surgery on the 16th. Please keep me in prayer that all goes smoothly.