More recently, around routine time my butt really began to burn so I asked the nurse to check me. I had pooped a hard, fist sized turd! Now that would obviously cause some pain! After that, I notice that every time I get stimulated and begin to move my bowels, my nerve pain goes away. It's like a warm wave of goodness and I feel so relaxed. It's the relief of me moving my bowels! I can also feel when someone rigorously stimulates me during routine. I can't feel their actual finger, but I feel something. It's hard to explain. It's a new sensation I'm feeling and I have no idea what it means in terms of return of feeling. I still can't feel on the surface nor have I gained function in my hands, legs, or torso so it doesn't mean much but it is strange and worth noting.
I started therapy again downstairs since I've been so weak. I've lost a lot of weight so my father has been feeding me any way he can! I'm working hard and tired most days. Outside is less appealing. I miss my Ithaca fall time: walking through leaves, the warmth of staying in and only occasionally hitting the porch. That was a different life ago and although I miss it's simplicity, I was very lonely for my family then. Ah well. Here's to another hibernation. Drink some scotch for me!