In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Prov. 3:5-6
My surgery was postponed due to trach complication! The only way to have the surgery is to take out the trach, put in a shiley trach during the surgery, and then the next day, have the t-tube put back in! It sounds incredibly risky but I'm trusting the Lord, not my understanding.
I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
All I know is that I love the Lord with all my heart and I am forever grateful for His mercy saving my life and showing me His Truth through the sacrifice of his son Jesus. His Spirit has pressed upon me to share my story, that God has been gracious and merciful. Regardless of anything in my life, God has been faithful. On the day I broke my neck, I seriously called out to God and trusted him with my life. Nothing else mattered. Since then I've learned to depend on him and hear his voice through his word.
Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1-
"And our hope of you [is] stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so [shall ye be] also of the consolation."
"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:
But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:
"Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver [us];
"Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift [bestowed] upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf." 2 cor. 1:7-11
Many people have prayed for me and continue to pray for me. I'm not crazy about the surgeon working on my t-tube. But I have the Great Physician on my side and he's going to make things happen! I cannot be plucked from his hand! (John 10:27-30)
"Blessed [is] he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; [and] he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. The LORD will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness." Ps. 41:1-3
The Lord answered my prayer with this Psalm as I prayed about anxiety over my pain, over the surgery decision. In the interim, I fight off urinary infections and it's extremely painful. It's not sensational pain, but a searing nerve pain that's difficult to tame. Sometimes all I can do is pray and eat God's words, cling to his promise that this suffering is nothing in comparison to the Glory that will be revealed in the last time (Romans 8:18). I imagine those who are in prison for sharing the Gospel in many other countries where it is "illegal." People are tortured, maimed and killed. When my pain is at it's height, I shake. "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20) I also pray for Joni Eareckson Tada, who suffers from excruciating pain. Her testimony has been a blessing to me in my journey, particularly her latest battle with pain and her drive to work for the Lord! Listen as she reads in "A Place of Healing."
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, [and] from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth [shall be thy] shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; [nor] for the arrow [that] flieth by day; [Nor] for the pestilence [that] walketh in darkness; [nor] for the destruction [that] wasteth at noonday..." Ps.91:1-6
This Psalm has been very strengthening and encouraging as I go through many physical trials in and out of the hospital. I have a CD called no storm too Great! that prays focusing on this Psalm. I highly recommend it for people who need calming meditation on God's Word!
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." (Eph. 6:18-20)
Thank you for your prayers. Continue to pray for this upcoming surgery that should be in early-mid March. Pray that all goes smoothly with my tracheostomy and my bladder surgery and I recover well. I want to be strong and back in my chair!