After being in and out of the hospital for over a week, I was given ample opportunity to trust God with my health. It hasn't been easy! I'm still suffering from much pain and bowel complications. At one point, I was sure I was going to die! I quickly put on the No storm too Great! CD and prayed for peace. I even committed my spirit to the Lord, expecting to wake in his arms. But I was still agitated. However, I had a very calm and reassuring EMT worker named Charlie with an angelic face. I was taken care of quickly and admitted to the hospital. I was glad to hear psalm 91 at the hospital. I was stabilized and treated well and thankful to have my parents with me. Even still, my heart feels overwhelmed with gratitude, with the presence of God's Holiness and righteousness besides my frailty.
A woman in her seventies came into the room with pulmonary fibrosis. She had low oxygen saturation and had to be put on a bi-pap mask. It is very hard to tolerate as it forces air into the lungs to push out any fluids. I asked her husband if she wanted to listen to the Psalms as it helped me. He said he would ask her another time as it was getting late. He went home and it was time for the aides to clean her and get her situated. She was quiet for a long time and no one came. Finally, an aide answered her bell and the woman asked to be washed. The aide snapped at her and said she had to wait. Now when you are sick and suffering, the last thing you need is someone speaking to you nastily. The act of bathing in itself is very ministerial. It's an opportunity to give compassion and comfort a person needs to adjust to the hospital. Shortly after, the nurse came in and I told him what happened. He said that was unacceptable and he would take care of it. A few minutes later, a manager came and apologized to the woman, assuring her she would get care and it was their job to provide the best care in a timely manner. When she left, I vocally praised God, lifted my hand and prayed with her! She lifted her hand as well and vocalized her troubles to the Lord. After the aide cleaned her (trying to justify her behavior all the while) I had my aide give the woman my ipod to listen to No Storm too Great!-Psalm 91. Soon after, she slept soundly.
Everyone asks me how I got paralyzed. After a while, it becomes annoying, even invasive. People take a piece of you every time, meanwhile they give nothing back. they meet you for 2 minutes, see you in your condition and just want to satisfy their curiosity, never sharing anything about themselves, a single traumatizing experience or how they are broken in some way. So I decided to stop telling people. I would say, "I really don't want to talk about it," or simply, "none of your business." But God nudged at me that my accident is a testament to his reality that can be used for his glory. I complied not knowing who would be ordained to hear my message. A quirky nurse took a while to ask and I quickly cut to the chase. "I was a do gooder installing solar panels and fell from the roof. the best thing was that I found Jesus and not only did he save my life but he gave me eternal life. I now live for his glory." She didn't even blink. "Yes and he will judge the living and the dead..." she said dryly. "Do you believe in Jesus?' I asked. "No." She she said. "I'm Jewish." "Well, have you read the Jewish scriptures?" I asked. This was the person God ordained me to witness to. I was happy I was obedient to my Lord! I grabbed my Bible. My quad hands had some trouble flipping to my first verse but Nurse Feigenbaum was genuinely interested. "I have to get to another patient but I'll be back, I'm interested if you couldn't tell by now!" she did come back and I had her read Proverbs 30:4 aloud. She said everything except 'son.' Then I had her read Isaiah 53 in it's entirety. "Interesting" she said. "Is Isaiah in the Old Testament?" Was I really hearing this? I assured her so and then pointed her to Micah 5:2, where a ruler in Israel would rise up from Bethlehem who has been from eternity. I also spoke of Isaiah 9:6 where a child would be born of a virgin and the titles given to him were divine names: father of eternity, mighty God. I was hoping she wouldn't hate me afterwards because I really grew to love this nurse! She had a fabulous sense of humor and the best curly red hair. She was compassionate, caring and never lost her cool, despite how busy it got. Luckily, things between us stayed good. She seemed happy to meet my father. I continue to pray that the Lord do a work in her heart.
I was in and out of the ER after I was discharged from severe pain and the shakes. It could only be relieved from IV fluids and initially I thought it was still from the infection being treated. But every time they found nothing wrong, not even an infection. Finally, I had one of my nurses do an enema on me just in case that was the source of the pain. Indeed it made me feel just better enough to sleep without the shakes! I haven't felt that much pain in a while. But little by little, I cleared out my system and have been well enough to be in my chair. I thank God for His faithfulness to comfort me through my parents and the body of Christ. I feel Blessed to minister to others as well.
I had a difficult moment with my case worker because I tried staying in the Hospital long enough for her to get there and advocate for me. Due to a snow storm that didn't happen, but she stressed my out over the phone with things I no longer had control over. The hospital saw fit that I could go and just when they're giving me the discharge papers, she calls and says "well are you sure? The treatment takes a while to work--" In comes my flesh and I am no longer calm! Thank God I have an advocate (1 John 1:9)
Now I am enjoying good food and getting out as much as I can before my surgery on the 16th. Please keep me in prayer that all goes smoothly.
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