Monday, January 30, 2012

Finding my voice

It's been 2 weeks since I've had my t-tube reinserted and my voice is still just a whisper. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, but my voice is just barely existent. It is very frustrating but I'm thankful for breathing well and sleeping well. Yesterday, I was able to go to church for the first time in weeks which was a blessing. I'm looking forward to being more active, voice or not, and seeing what the Lord has for me.

As hard as it is to not think on a day-to-day basis due to my condition, I'm venturing to find an abode of my own outside of Beth Abe. I imagine it will be quite a process so I figured I'd start to hopefully move in favorable weather. Quads and cold don't mix!

I've spent many months in physical and spiritual trials, sick with UTIs, going through major bladder surgery, and then contending with trach problems. I can't tell which was worse. Before that, I was gearing up to go back to school and had a new interest in grant writing and non-profit management. What do I do now? Where do I belong? How will I be a productive member of society? I want to be useful. I don't want spend the rest of my days not making a mark as I've always imagined. I grew up in the middle of rallies against drugs, corrupt landlords and school inequality. My family was active in the church feeding the homeless and donating clothes. I imagined myself as a public servant in some capacity which I think everyone should be. I have to reassess goals and take things slow.

No comments:

Post a Comment