Thursday, October 1, 2009

I feel like I'm in the ark, begging God to say "you can come out now!" After Richie's message on Genesis 8, the humanity of the situation gave me clarity. It was crazy to believe there would be a flood coming, to build a big ass ark. Then to stay in that ark with all those animals! I'm sure it stank, I'm sure there were arguments. But it took much patience before they could safely leave the ark.

Right now I feel like I'm in a cramped, stinking ark wanting to jump onto land before it's really dry but God hasn't called me yet. God is slowly making moves though. I just have to keep praying and keep focused. This is so hard. My breathing has improved but I'm weak in the chair. My posture is terrible, my nerve pain has gotten worse. My bahind is on fire! I'm sick of being fed pills day in and day out! Waking up in this condition is the worst. The burning sensation starts up right away and I'm reminded of my condition. I'm trying to think of how my life will be once I can leave here, away from any institution.

And this is the light version! Those who know me, know how I would usually dish it. Especially when it comes to people! It takes every ounce of will power... you wouldn't believe the stupidity, the greed, the audacity. But then, there are the gems. People working here who are absolutely selfless, dependable, true servants of the trade.

This weekend I spent most my time in bed because of nerve pain. I'm almost sure it's because of a UTI at this point. I had the doctors check my urine and blood just in case. I tried going out sunday for a hair cut but had to turn around. The only way to relieve it is to lay on my side. I even take percocet which only relaxes the pain enough for me to rest. So I haven't been up to too much. But I did get a lot done at the doctor's office, getting my flu shot, filling out medical forms, getting much needed referrals. Tomorrow, I go to an allergist and I may have to see the urologist again but all this is necessary to maintain my health, whatever is left of it!

I got caught up with my case and things are coming along. Nothing surprises me, people's testimonies speak exactly how I pinned it all along. Their accusations hold no weight and regardless of their positions they with suffer greatly for what happened to me. Period.


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