I'm really tired of my routine here! First of, waking up in pain really sucks. I spoke to a "pain specialist" again to change meds. This time, I'll up my topomax dose. It's just all trial and error.

Another big issue is my roommate turns on her television at 7am when I like my last 2 hours of rest. I'm forced to listen to the news and all these stupid day time talk shows I couldn't care less about. After a couple months hearing it day after day, it really began to get me annoyed. I asked her to lower it in the morning. At first she did but now she complains about my humidifying machine! So I've resorted to turning on my television to tune out Regis and the Wendy Williams show. It's so ridiculous! Although I have been enjoying cartoon network. The best part is that a) it tends to be louder than adult tv, b) it doesn't have the same annoying commercials! I'm not even a TV person. I like quiet. I like reading and writing. I research online. Listen to music (on headphones!) Occasionally, I watch TV before bed but not consistently to drive someone nuts. I give her ample time to be in the room alone but I rarely get any alone time. It's important around here! I'm surrounded by loud ass people who have mutilated the English language and they have no regard for personal space. You truly are an inmate here and the more dependent you are, the tighter the leash. I-N-S-T-I-T-U-T-I-O-N-A-L-I-Z-A-T-I-O-N.

Other than that, I've been doing pretty well in therapy, getting stronger, doing push ups on the mat! I've been working a lot on my trunk since my posture/balance is poor. I'm going to get fitted for a brace, but really focus on strengthening as to not rely on the brace. My endurance still sucks on the arm bike but it increases every week. On the pulleys, I focus on triceps. The main thing that blows in the therapy program here is that the transferring technique. If you cannot transfer yourself, good luck getting some good mat time. I'm minimal assist which is the only reason why my therapist will get me on the mat 2-3 times a week. Much of the time, the mats are not used, the therapists and the aides are chatting, laughing. More and more people with spinal cord injury from Mount Sinai Rehab are getting funneled into Beth Abraham. Quads, in particular, are not getting mat time or practicing transferring skills. Moreover, we are not learning daily living skills like bowel and bladder management. I like what I do with my therapist, but I do notice that people are getting comfortable and residents lose out. I was hoping to have a dialogue with a therapist from Mount Sinai on teaching transferring technique here. I think it would be beneficial and why not? MS brings in enough money! But so far, I have gotten dodged and I'm not sure if it's intentional due to strained relations between me and certain admin there. Maybe I'm paranoid?

In either case, my spirits were lifted by 2 comrades that came to visit me today. They encouraged me to continue to voice my thoughts and contribute my ideas to the cause. I feel honored and respected. I know many people stand behind me but sometimes discouragement sets in. So I will "pen" more of these ideas as I go along.